The Silver Doe
by PoisonedRemedy
Summary: Severus Snape was cunning, resourceful and ambitious, with a more-than-distinctive dark streak to him. But even then, nothing drove him more towards the dark arts than the attitude of a certain James Potter. What if James hadn't been quite so cruel? Could one train journey really have changed so much? Warning: Child Abuse.
1. Preface

**AN: Hello there! This is basically an AU Severus story. Although not_ that_ AU. I want to show how little changes to the story might have led to quite a different path for Severus. For the most part, I'm going to stick to the book's details as close as possible other than these small changes. This is my first story though, so things might change as we go on! Hope you enjoy. This first chapter is essentially a preface to the main story.**

* * *

"...and Gryffindors are known for their bravery and boldness. Though they, above all other houses, have an affinity for Muggles."

"Were you a Gryffindor, Mummy?"

Eileen Snape laughed at the prospect. "Why would you say that, my sweetness?"

"Because you love Daddy, and Daddy's a Muggle."

Her smile disappears, though only for a second. "I'm afraid not, my dear." She strokes her son's long black hair and kisses him on the forehead. "I wouldn't be brave enough."

A door slammed downstairs.

Eileen closed her eyes. "That'll be your father. I'm sure he's tired after a long day. Why don't you stay up here and do some more drawing?"

Sev shrugged.

She hugged him, gave him another kiss, and then left the room.

_"Muffliato."_

* * *

Eileen had tried. Truly, by Merlin's beard, she had. For seven years she had taken everything Tobias had thrown at her. He'd hurt her in more ways than one, but she was a strong woman, _a Prince_. She had stood for it all. For her son. For Severus. She'd so badly wanted him to have a father. To have a home. So she protected him from his father's worst side. Cast silencing charms round his door and taking Tobias' rage upon herself. Of course, it didn't always work. Sometimes he caught her off guard. More than once Severus had wandered into the middle of one of his father's alcohol-fueled rages and crumpled in the corner, crying. But Eileen had kept him away from the most of it.

She'd even fought. She'd tried to make Tobias care for his son, though she'd long ago given up any hope of him loving _her_. Sometimes she thought it worked. When he wasn't drunk or angry, occasionally he seemed to show genuine affection for Severus. The moments were rare, but sometimes he really could be a_ good_ father. Every so often, he'd scoop Sev up on his shoulders, who'd squeal with glee, then swirl him round and the two would laugh and it was one of the rare occasions that made Eileen smile. Most of the time, of course, Tobias had little more time for his son than her, often dismissing him out of hand, but he never raised his voice to Severus. He'd never deliberately taken his rage out on his son.

She'd never, _ever_ thought he'd raise a hand to the child.

* * *

It was shortly after Severus' sixth birthday that it happened.

The three of them sat around the breakfast table in silence. There wasn't much of a spread. A single box of cornflakes and a carton of milk sat in the middle beside an old, cracked teapot. There was little more the Snape family could afford.

It was rare for Tobias to join them this early. He usually slept in till midday. But this day he had been in unusually good cheer. He had an interview for a new job. From the sounds of things, he really thought this was going to turn their life around. Secretly, Eileen was skeptical, her husband had never held a job more than a couple of months in his_ life_, but she knew better than to say so.

"I'm telling you. This'll be the way up for us. Old Al works down there and put a word in for me, he says I already got a shoe in the door."

Eileen knew Old Al, and highly doubted anyone would take his word for anything.

"That's great, Dad." Severus grinned, munching loudly.

"Thanks son," said Tobias, smugly. He looked over at Eileen. "See, _he_ believes in me."

"I believe in you, dear."

Tobias snorted. "Like hell you do. At least I'm tried to hold this family together. Make a living. Haven't seen you cast a spell and get us out of here you bloody wi – "

"Severus, could you get some more tea from the cupboard, darling?" Eileen cut him off. Long ago, the hypocrisy of such a statement would have left her fuming. _He _was the one who'd demanded she never use magic in the first place. Nowadays she was accustomed to such remarks. The most important thing was keeping her son safe from Tobias' poison.

"Sure, mum."

Tobias shot her a dirty look. She'd pay for interrupting him later. No matter.

Fortunately some of his good mood remained, and he dropped it for now. "Yep, this is gonna change the future for us. Gonna be living the good life from now on! Oh, son, are you struggling?" Eileen looked over. Tobias had left the tea on a high shelf again and Severus' tiny form couldn't reach it.

"No Dad, I'm fine." He started jumping up and down.

Astonishingly, Tobias laughed. A rare sound indeed. Merlin, he really _was_ in a good mood today. For a moment, Eileen smiled.

He stood up. "Don't worry son. I'll get it for you. There's no way you can reach it from th –" He froze.

Eileen's blood ran cold.

They had both seen the same thing. The box of teabags, previously three feet above young Severus' head, had slid of its own accord from the shelf, and fallen down into the boy's hands.

Beaming, Severus turned round. "See dad, told you I could - "

He screamed as Tobias' hand slapped him across the face.

Eileen bolted up, her chair flying out behind her. She ran to her husband, who was raising his hand to smack the child again. She was too late, the second _smack_! echoed in her ears. "NO. STOP IT!" She grabbed his arm. This time Tobias directed his anger at her, throwing her across the room as he turned back to his son. Severus stood, clutching his face, tears running down his reddened face and still too stunned to react.

_"I should have known you were just like that bitch!"_

Tears were now in Eileen's face, as she struggled to her feet. She knew she couldn't overpower Tobias physically. But maybe...

She turned and ran up the stairs.

_"Mummy!" _

It pained her to run away from her child's screaming voice. _I'll be back soon darling._ Bursting into her room – she and Tobias hadn't slept in the same bed for years – she ran to the corner and pulled back the loose floorboard. Dirt covered the top, but she didn't care. Looking underneath, she found what she was looking for. Her wand. She promised Tobias she threw it out years ago. Fat chance. Grabbing it, she ran back downstairs to the horrifying scene.

She'd seen Tobias angry before, countless times. But never like this. There was a blind fury in his eyes that would have turned her around on the spot, were it not for the curled up, sobbing shape of her child on the floor. Tobias was still hitting him.

_"Stop it you monster!"_

He turned round. She brandished her wand, tears still falling freely from her eyes. He was visibly shocked at the sight of the stick in her hands. She saw him hesitate.

"_Don't lay another hand on him!"_ she growled.

Giving a scream of fury, he turned and ran for her. Terrified, she felt her resolve falter. She hadn't expected that. She'd thought the sight of the wand would be enough. Backing away, her brain scrambled desperately. _Think of a spell! Something! Anything!_ But she hadn't worked magic in years. Nothing except the silencing charms, and they'd hardly be of use here. Something jumped into her mind, "_Expelliarmus!"_ she cried. _Oh...shit, he doesn't have a wand. Idiot._

It was too late. He was already upon her. Hitting her to the floor, he wrestled the want from her hands.

"How..._dare_...you!"

Eileen knew her strength was gone. He had the only form of defense she had. "No...please..." she begged, weakly.

_Snap!_

Her wand...gone...the pieces fell to the ground. She felt herself mourn for the loss. Though in truth, she'd lost it long ago. How had it got to this? Everything...She'd lost it all. Her dreams, her love, her magic, and now she was losing her son. All to_ him_. She'd thought she'd been strong. She'd thought she was saving their family, staying with Tobias. She thought... hell. What does it matter? She'd been a fool. Only now could she see how weak she'd been. She hadn't stayed with him for Severus's sake. She loved Severus, oh God, yes she did. But none of this had been for him. If it had, she'd have left years ago. If only she could have had that strength. She'd stayed with Tobias for no reason other than her own fear. Because she couldn't leave. And she knew now, as he stood bearing down upon her, she never would. He'd bested her. He owned her. And Severus was nothing more than the reason she hadn't killed herself yet. The realization brought fresh tears to her eyes, and she cried for her own weakness.

_I'm so sorry, son._

* * *

The next time Tobias came for her son, she locked herself in her room and cried.

Eventually she wouldn't do even that.


	2. Saying Goodbye

"Can I see it again?"

Lily rolled her eyes. "Sev! You've barely been here two minutes!"

"Please?"

She sighed. "It would be nice if you could at least _pretend_ you came here to see _me_."

Sev dropped his graze. "Sorry." She was joking. He knew she was joking. But it made him guilty all the same. "I guess I'm just really excited." He answered, truthfully.

She stuck her tongue out, laughed and got up. "I know you are." She walked to the wardrobe, opened it, and began to rummage around. "I am too. Ah! There we go." She pulled out a shoebox from under a pile of clothes. Her eleven-year old self had not yet learned the value of neatness. "Here!" She plopped the box down on his lap.

"Thanks." He gave a small smile and opened the box eagerly.

There. Inside was a wooden wand. His wand. Ten inches, ebony wood and dragon heartstring core. It gave him a thrill to look at it, just as it had the day he received it. Just as it did every day he asked Lily to see it since.

She dropped down on the bed beside him. "I don't know why you're so obsessed with the thing already. You can't even do magic yet!"

Sev looked over at her. "I know... but it's just the prospect I guess. It makes it all feel real. There's _dragon_ in this. Isn't that amazing? Think of how much power it must have!"

She smiled. "I guess it is pretty cool." She pulled another shoebox out from under the bed and produced her own wand. "Maybe I've just had too long to look at mine." It was true. She could see hers whenever she wanted. Severus had to _ask_ to see his. Which was ridiculous to say the least, but thankfully only temporary. He had good reason for stashing his Hogwarts supplies at the Evans' house.

"I prefer reading the books anyway." She gestured to her bedside table, piled high with several of the textbooks they had bought a couple of weeks prior. "_A History of Magic_ is my favourite – did you know Anne Boleyn was a Squib?"

Sev had no idea who Anne Boleyn was, and shook his head. He hadn't bothered to read the history book yet. He'd been too eager to dive into the magic straightaway. "I didn't read it."

"Oh, but you should Severus! I think it's so important we read about history! And the past! Otherwise we might repeat those mistakes again!"

Sev gazed at her in awe. He loved it when she said things like that. Things so much wiser than anyone else their age would say. He'd met plenty of the local kids. But they were all stupid. Stupid Muggles. And Lily's sister Petunia was the worst of them. But Lily...she was something different. She seemed to be the one – except himself - who understood the really important things. That stupid, childish distractions like_ gossip_ and _crushes _didn't matter in the slightest.

"Uh, Sev? You okay?"

He realised he hadn't responded yet. " Oh, yeah, sorry, dazed off for a bit. I totally agree with you, though."

She beamed. "Oh, Sev, it's going to be amazing! I can't wait!"

"Me neither."

* * *

Sev returned home, shutting the door gently.

He waited for a couple of minutes. Silence. That meant his father was either asleep or out. Breathing a sigh of relief, he made his way to his room.

Quite different to Lily's, his own room was meticulously tidy. Partly that was due to Tobias and his temper. Mostly it was because he didn't have that many possessions in the first place. He removed his jacket and settled down on the bed. Reaching over, he picked up his copy of _A History of Magic_ and began to read. His books were the only possessions he dared keep at Spinner's End. He knew his father would fly into a rage at the sight of his wand or cauldron. But books...books were safe. Tobias hated literature and would never bother to inspect it.

He was interrupted not much later by a knock on the door.

"Mother." Tobias didn't knock.

The door opened.

"Hello Severus."

Severus paused, waiting to see if she would say anything further. When she didn't, he returned to his reading.

After a while, "You're going to Hogwarts tomorrow."

Severus sighed. "Yes." He waited again. No further comment came from Eileen. He returned again to his book.

She looked around, as if unfamiliar with the room her son had lived in for eleven years. Eventually she moved to sit in a chair by the corner. Severus didn't especially care. He was used to his mother's presence hanging around the house. Didn't mean she was actually there.

"Do you need a lift to the train station?" Eileen asked, as if it had only just occurred to her. It probably had.

"No. Lily Evans' dad offered to drive me."

"Oh."

Severus looked down again. Several minutes of silence passed. He had just began to read about the founding of Hogwarts – a topic that he found especially interesting, _Lily was right about the book being good _– when Eileen spoke again.

"Are you excited?"

Sighing again, Severus shut the book. "Do you actually care?"

"Yes," Eileen replied, though she sounded unsure.

"Well then. Yes, I'm looking forward to it."

She nodded. Severus was surprised to see her give a small smile. He couldn't recall the last time he'd seen that. He wasn't entirely confident he ever had. "I'm glad."

"Uh...yes. Well then."

Severus wasn't sure what else to say. He was used to his mother's awkward conversation, but this was something new. She seemed to want to say something, but couldn't. Curious, he decided to try softening his tone. "What's up, mum?"

She widened her eyes at 'mum' – he hadn't called her that since he was small. Severus usually used the indifferent terms 'mother' and 'Eileen.'

It wasn't that he hated his mother. Well he did, in a way, but not the same way as Tobias. He vaguely recalled that she had once loved him. He remembered her reading his bedtime stories, tucking him into bed, taking him down the playground. Sometimes, when bullies beat him up, he'd cry and wish for his old mother. The one that would comfort him, kiss him, and whisper reassurances in his ear. But she was long gone. Severus did not know (and was too young in any case to understand) what happened, but at some point, she'd left him. She'd left him alone with his father, and he hated her for it.

But still, he didn't want to be cruel to her. Not like his father, who he'd happily hex into oblivion once he was capable. No, not Eileen... A small part of him still hoped one day she'd come back to him. Maybe if he proved himself capable of protecting her. Ever since he'd received his acceptance letter for Hogwarts, he'd secretly fantasied about returning to Spinner's End, a powerful and formidable wizard. He'd throw his father out and show his mother there was no reason to be afraid anymore. Maybe then she'd come back to him. Maybe.

"Mum?"

She blinked. "Oh. Uhm, nothing. I-I was just wondering if you'd thought much about what house you want to be in...It makes a difference, you know...what kind of friends you want to make."

Sev shrugged. "I've got Lily. That's the only friend I need."

She gazed at him. "Right...the Muggle girl."

He didn't particularly like the way she said 'Muggle girl.' "She's not a Muggle. Just raised by them. She's magical. And really good at it too."

Eileen nodded thoughtfully. "Of course."

Sev wondered if the nice tactic was a good idea. He certainly didn't want to listen to his mother talking about Lily in that tone. "What do you want to say Mother? Tobias isn't here."

She jumped at his father's name, but the statement seemed to ground her. "No...You're right. I'm sorry. It's so difficult to talk to you now...You're so grown up. I feel like...It's just every time I look at you...It reminds me..." tears welled in her eyes, "I'm so sorry Sev. I've failed you so badly."

Sev shifted. "Mother..." he said, unsure of how to feel. He couldn't deny the words. They were true. For a brief moment he considered moving to hug her, to comfort her, to forgive her. In truth, he'd badly wanted this apology for a long time. But his heart hardened. It was too late. She couldn't ask for his forgiveness now. Not the day before he left it all behind.

"I'm sorry." She closed her eyes for a moment, righted herself, and resumed with more determination in her voice than Sev had ever heard. "I'm not here to ask for your forgiveness. I know I don't deserve it. It's just...you'll be gone for a long time. A very long time. I wouldn't blame you if you never return, to be honest. And if I'm not here when you return...I want to have at least spoke with you once. Mother to son. Just once."

Severus felt a chill at her words, though he couldn't explain why. He nodded.

"I loved your father. Very dearly. When I met him, he was exceptionally charming, and witty in his own way. I thought he was kind and he was exceptionally handsome... " She paused, as if captivated by some distant memory, and then shook her head. "Anyway. My friends told me I was being delusional. He was a Muggle, they said. Muggles are stupid. Muggles are cruel. I didn't listen. I thought..." She drifted away again.

At Severus' cough, she jumped and looked back over at him. "This Lily girl...does she treat you well?"

Sev nodded without a thought. His mind was still stuck at the thought of his father as anything resembling a likeable human being.

"I guess the point I'm making Severus is...just be careful. Don't trust people. Don't let them walk all over you. Stand up for yourself the way I never could. And don't..." She hesitated. "I _want_ to think I was right all along...That maybe they're not all... Maybe it was just bad luck with your father. But this neighbourhood...the Muggles here...you come home in bruises every week..." her eyes watered again.

Severus looked away.

The resolve in her seemed to have gone. She started at the floor and didn't say anything else, weeping silently. Eventually, she merely nodded and left the room.

It took some time for Severus to think over what had just happened. He knew exactly the point his mother was trying to get across. And truth be told, it was a thought that occurred to him some time ago. How could it not? Everyone in this neighbourhood was stupid and spiteful. Everyone except _her_. The only girl with a drop of magical blood he'd ever met. How could he not wonder if that was the reason?

A tiny voice in the back of his head proclaimed _that's not true_. Lily's parents weren't like that. They had always been nice to him. Though he had to wonder if that was only because they had to. And of course, they still couldn't explain Petunia. _There were others._ Vague recollections came to his mind. A lollipop lady who'd given him sweets once, an elderly man who'd bought his groceries for him when his father had shortchanged him, a shop assistant who'd called him 'the handsomest young man' she'd ever seen. Exceptions rather than the rule, it seemed, but exceptions none the less.

Severus shrugged. He was going to Hogwarts. Him and Lily, the only other person in this hellhole he really cared about. Muggles weren't his problem anymore.

He opened up his book again and resumed reading:

_"A few years after the foundation of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, a rift eventually emerged between Slytherin and the other founders..."_

* * *

Severus' eyes gleamed as he looked up at the building. King's Cross Station. He had been excited, but he hadn't quite realised_ how_ excited he was until now. He was actually _on his way_.

"Sev?" Lily called.

He looked round, grinning widely. Lily was taken aback at the enthusiasm on his face.

Of course, she'd seen him smile plenty - he did it often, around her at least - but not like this. Usually there was a...she didn't know the word for it. A_ sadness_ to his smile. A weight. Yeah. A weight...heavier in his eyes than anyone she'd met. Today though, she was astonished to see it was gone. Today, Sev's smile was open and honest. His eyes burned with hope and childish glee.

"Yeah?"

She motioned him to her father, who was lifting his trunk out the car.

"Oh, right! I'll get that...thank you Mr. Evans" he bounded over. He_ bounded_. Lily felt a warmth rise in her. She'd never seen her best friend so happy.

Mr Evans smiled. "No, that's alright Severus. Lily's mother and I will carry your things to the platform." Truth be told, it was no huge favour on their part. Severus hadn't brought much.

At this development, Lily had an idea. She winked at Sev, "Race ya there!" and took off.

Sev looked for a surprised for a moment, before his gape returned to a grin and he ran after the redhead.

"Be careful you two!" called Mrs. Evans, but they were already gone. She exchanged a look with her husband, who had finished unpacking the car, and they set off after Severus and Lily.

The two of them sprinted across the crowds and through the entrance, nearly knocking over several people on the way, but too happy in their euphoria to care. Lily was the better runner by far – Severus was never one for physical exertion – but she slowed her pace out of kindness.

Eventually, out of breath and seeing the 9th Platform up ahead, she stopped and signaled Sev to do the same. Panting and laughing at the same time, they regained their breath. Refreshed, and seeing the Evans family approach, they turned to face the platforms.

"Uhm. Lily. Not to raise a potential problem, but where's the platform?"

Lily looked over at Sev. "You mean nine and three quarters? Between nine and ten, of course, silly."

Sev gestured. "It's not there. There's just nine and ten."

"Well, yeah. Duh. Muggles number platforms sensibly. What were you expecting? Haven't you been to a train station before?"

He shook his head. "Never had to go anywhere. But I still don't understand. How can the platform be between nine and ten if there isn't anything between nine and ten?"

Confused, she tilted her head at him. "Didn't Dumbledore tell you?"

Severus was baffled. "Dumbledore? The Head? _He_ came to your house? No one told me anything."

For a moment, Lily felt a guilty moment of pride. Severus had always been the one who knew everything about the magical world. She'd always been the one asking questions and he the one with all the answers. Now, _here _was something she knew and he didn't. "Yeah, he was the one who came to talk to my parents. About magic, you know. He gave me my acceptance letter and my reading list. Stuff like that. And told us about platform nine and three quarters. Didn't he come to your house?"

"No." Severus felt a brief moment of resentment stab through his happiness. No one had come to his house. He'd got the acceptance letter by owl and that was that. (And boy, hadn't his father_ loved_ that. No one had tried to explain owls or magic to _him_.) No one had come explaining about platforms that weren't there to Sev. He knew it was because his mother was a witch. _Dumbledore_ had assumed she'd tell him everything.

In truth, he'd always known about this - he _knew_ representatives only visited Muggle-borns, but for some reason, that thought only made him even angrier. Yes, Eileen had told him about magic, but he hadn't known about the platform. People shouldn't just _assume _things like that. His mother could scarcely get up on the mornings. What? Sev was supposed to figure everything out for himself? Just because of her, who could barely help herself, _he_ didn't need any help? Lily got the Headmaster and he didn't get _anyone_? What if Lily hadn't been here? What if he'd just been left, standing here in the middle of a station, no idea where to go? Left to wander until he had no choice to return back to Spinner's End for the next seven years?

The thought scared him. That it could have been that easy. _Mother did offer to drive me here. She would have shown me._ The thought calmed him somewhat, but he couldn't shake the slight feeling of annoyance at his neglect. "So where is it then?"

Lily was disappointed to note a touch of his usual glumness had seeped back into Sev's tone. The happiness had been so fleeting. She hoped it wasn't because she'd trumped him. "Just there, in between the platforms. The wall's enchanted. You can pass through it."

Severus supposed it made sense. Maybe he'd have been able to figure that out on his own. Eventually. He shrugged it off. He wasn't going to let an oversight spoil _this_ day. Not the day he'd waited so long for. Seeing Lily's parents had now caught them up, he gestured ahead. "Shall we proceed?"

Lily looked to her parents and they nodded, though – Severus noted - with some uncertainty. _They still don't really believe. They don't see how a platform could be behind there_. And – Severus had to admit – he didn't really either. He'd had some exposure to magic, but only very minimal. Nothing like this. This was insane. His mother had never shown him anything on this scale. She'd never shown him much at all, really. He realized he was, in many ways, little more informed than Lily herself.

They both moved forward. Severus wasn't sure whether to close his eyes or not. He suddenly felt very nervous about what the wall ahead held. He wasn't sure he wanted to see whatever lay on the other side. _What if it's nothing like I imagined? What if it's even worse than here? _He hadn't considered the possibility. At the last moment, however, he decided to leave them open – if it didn't work, he didn't want to make a fool of himself by knocking himself out.

Passing through the wall turned out to be easy, however, and seeing what lay before him, Severus felt his earlier enthusiasm grip him again. _Wow_, was his only thought. The sight before him surpassed even his wildest dreams. A world of colour and activity met his gaze, a shocking transition from the dull grey and brown of the Muggle stations he'd just left behind. Everywhere he could see witches and wizards, dressed in the most fantastic range of robes, garments and accessories. Some were carrying cages containing all manner of creatures (many of which he'd never seen before) while others were pushing huge trolleys with nothing more than their wands. Children were laughing and running around, and every so often he'd see a spark or crackle of some spell.

Pulling his eyes away from the scene, he looked over at Lily. The awe in her face matched his own. Sensing his glance, she turned to face him and smiled. "This is it, Sev."

He returned her smile, and was surprised to find her hand reach out to clasp his. He held it tightly, and the two walked out to the platform together.

* * *

**AN: Hello again! Thanks so much to those who've reviewed the story so far! It means the world to me and I'm glad you enjoy it.**

**To the reviewer who mentioned Severus created Muffiliato in later life and Eileen shouldn't know it: you're completely right, well observed! This was initially an oversight on my part, but I decided to leave it in. You could reason Severus might have pulled the spell - or at least the name of it - from his subconscious later on and either forgotten (or maybe refused to remember) the real origin.**


	3. The Hogwarts Express

**AN: Thanks again all so much for the reviews! It means a lot!**

**BlueJeanMistress - Thank you very much! I'm planning for this story to encompass quite a large timespan, so it's likely there'll definitely be some jumps in time at some point. :) As for the length, well, I'm really not sure! These four chapters (and the next one!) were only meant to take up a single chapter in my original plan, but ended up becoming much longer when I sat down to write them. I don't currently intend to write an epic, probably not much more than twenty chapters, but at this rate, it could end up going much further! We'll see what happens.**

* * *

The two kids wandered hand-in-hand, through the throng, for what seemed like an age. Lily's parents followed behind, no less in awe than the children.

"Please, can we _leave now_! Get her on the _Freak-O Express_ and go _home!_"

Severus shut his eyes. Petunia. Why on Earth the Evans thought it was a good idea to bring her, the most insufferable, stupid brat he'd ever met, he had no idea. He'd been at least grateful to notice she'd been quieter than usual today. A lot quieter. He'd almost forgotten she was there. What a rare treat! Lily had noticed it too – but, in the excitement of the day, she hadn't thought much of it.

Now, it seemed "Tuney" had grown tired of no one noticing her silence, and had decided to draw attention to herself more vocally...

* * *

_The two girls stood a little apart from their parents. Lily was pleading with her sister. _

_ "...I'm sorry, Tuney, I'm sorry! Listen – " She caught her sister's hand and held tight to it, even though Petunia tried to pull it away. "Maybe once I'm there – no, listen, Tuney! Maybe once I'm there, I'll be able to go to Professor Dumbledore and persuade him to change his mind!" _

_"I don't – want – to – go!" said Petunia,and she dragged her hand back out of her sister's grasp. "You think I want to go to some stupid castle and learn to be a – a..." Her pale eyes roved over the platform, over the cats mewling in their owners' arms, over the owls, fluttering and hooting at each other in cages, over the students, some already in their long black robes, loading trunks onto the scarlet steam engine or else greeting one another with glad cries after a summer apart. " – you think I want to be a – a freak?" _

_Lily's eyes filled with tears as Petunia succeeded in tugging her hand away. "I'm not a freak," said Lily. "That's a horrible thing to say." _

_"That's where you're going," said Petunia with relish. "A special school for freaks. You and that Snape boy...weirdos, that's what you two are. It's good you're being separated from normal people. It's for our safety." _

_Lily glanced toward her parents, who were looking around the platform with an air of wholehearted enjoyment, drinking in the scene. Then she looked back at her sister, and her voice was low and fierce. "You didn't think it was such a freak's school when you wrote to the headmaster and begged him to take you." _

_Petunia turned scarlet. "Beg? I didn't beg!" _

_"I saw his reply. It was very kind." _

_"You shouldn't have read – " whispered Petunia, "that was my private – how could you – ?" _

_Lily gave herself away by half-glancing toward where Snape stood nearby. _

_Petunia gasped. "That boy found it! You and that boy have been sneaking in my room!" _

_"No – not sneaking – " Now Lily was on the defensive. "Severus saw the envelope, and he couldn't believe a Muggle could have contacted Hogwarts, that's all! He says there must be wizards working undercover in the postal service who take care of – " _

_"Apparently wizards poke their noses in everywhere!" said Petunia, now as pale as she had been flushed. "Freak!" she spat at her sister, and she flounced off to where her parents stood... _

* * *

Severus looked over at Lily, having overheard everything. He had been delighted to see the Muggle brat so infuriated – especially at his own doing!

He and Lily had indeed seen Petunia's response from Dumbledore - just the night before, after she'd shown him his wand again. It had given him great joy to read proof of the girl's obvious envy. Lily had also seemed happy to read the letter, though she claimed it was only because she knew Tuney didn't really think she was a freak.

To his dismay, he saw Lily did not share any of his joy now. Not in the slightest. She looked on the verge of tears. He didn't understand why. Lily cared so much for her infantile sister's feelings. Sure, she was _family_, but it's not like that had ever mattered to _him_.

His own opinion aside, it pained him to see her so upset. "Lily..." he reached out his hand to hers, hoping to hold it again, as they he had when they walked in.

She looked down at it. He saw her hesitate for a moment, before she frowned and turned away. "No Sev! I just want to talk to Tuney."

Hurt, he dropped his hand and stuck it in his pocket. "Well, uhm, I'll go wander around then." He said, motioning to leave. Though he took a moment to linger, half hoping she'd change her mind.

The first tear falling from her eyes, she merely nodded.

As Severus walked away, he turned back to see Lily attempting, yet again, to reason with her sister, who was having none of it. The sight, previously so delightful to him, now filled him with anger. _How dare anyone treat his best friend like that! _Couldn't she understand how important this day was to Lily? That they wouldn't see each other for months? She was going to refuse to say goodbye over one lousy _letter_?

He decided he didn't want to see anymore. Not if Lily didn't want his help. Sighing, he turned away to examine the scene around him yet once more. It was indeed wondrous, and it certainly helped to distract him from pain of Lily's rejection. Damn. He was just so _excited_. It was everything he'd ever dreamed of already, and he wasn't even there yet!

He'd noted the surprise on Lily's face before, when he'd grinned so openly at her. He knew she wasn't used to seeing him this enthusiastic, about, well... anything. Truth be told, he wasn't used to _feeling_ this this enthusiastic, either. But magic was the one thing he truly loved. It was the one thing that still made him feel pure, unadulterated _wonder_. And it was going to be his life from now on. He was finally free of the Muggles, Petunia, the bullies, his mother, _his father_, everyone. He could be himself, be the great person he knew he was destined to be. In this moment, there was nothing that could have dampened his spirits. In this moment, he was happy.

As he wandered, his eyes eventually caught the crest emblazoned on the huge train. The Hogwarts crest. His gaze settled, and he pondered – yet again – what house he'd be in. All four houses – _Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff_ and _Slytherin _– he had learned by heart from a young age. Back when his mother would talk about such things.

Once, and he chuckled slightly at the memory, he'd wanted to be a Gryffindor. He'd run round his room, roaring at no one in particular and fancied himself a mighty, courageous lion. His father had shown him the error of_ those_ ways. Oh yes. He'd shown him that simply being brave got you nowhere. No, to get by in life, you had to be clever. You had to outsmart your opponent. Thinking on your toes. He now looked with distain upon the old drawings he used to do, so often gleaming in red and gold. Nothing more than remnants of a naive, foolish child.

So, for the longest time, he'd figured himself a Ravenclaw. Truth be told, it was still a house he admired greatly. He had a thirst for knowledge, and a great appreciation for logic and critical thinking. It felt natural to him.

But eventually...oh, it was some time ago now...his thinking had changed. His mother's talk last night hadn't been the start of his shift in opinion, far from it, but it was what brought it to the forefront of his mind again. The fourth house..._Slytherin_. It had never much appealed to him when he was younger. Too weird looking. He'd never really understood why anyone would want to live in dungeons all their lives, and it lacked a cool emblem like a lion or an eagle. But now, feeling older...he reckoned himself more mature in his thinking. He realised that Slytherin actually felt like one of the more accomplished houses. It was just as clever as Ravenclaw – 'cunning' being one of its most oft-described characteristics – but also the _strength_ of Gryffindor, strength without the brazen arrogance. He'd decided now that was the place for him.

Still, he'd hesitated a bit, last night. When he was reading about Salazar Slytherin's arguments against Muggle-borns at the school. He'd certainly never wanted to associate with anything that would demean Lily. He'd almost shut the book right there and then. But...curiosity got the better of him, and pondering over what his mother had said last night, he couldn't help wonder if maybe he'd been _right_. Not right about Muggle-borns _themselves _obviously – Severus knew first hand they were as talented as any other witch or wizard – but Muggles in general. Maybe they were...

Severus shook his head. He wouldn't let himself think such things. Not when Lily's parents were so nearby and had been so very kind to him. Still, he couldn't deny that last night he'd felt great sympathy towards Salazar. More than the other founders, certainly, who'd dismissed his concerns out of hand. (Boy, did he know what _that _was like.) He felt like he understood what he had been getting at. At least a little bit. Maybe he'd gotten the small details wrong, sure, but he couldn't deny the _main point _was a compelling argument...

Honestly, who was he kidding? He knew he'd decided. He'd done so several months ago. He only worried for Lily. He hoped she'd join him there. She was certainly clever, and he knew she could be plenty cunning when she tried. She was ambitious too...in her own, sweet, innocent way. As for the blood thing...he sighed. That could be a hurdle. He knew she loved her parents, but surely even _she_ could tell she was better than all the rest of them? Surely? She must know that?

The idea that Lily, the most perfect girl he had ever known, could even _possibly_ be unaware of her superiority over her peers didn't make sense in Severus' brain. _She knows. She knows because she must. And that'll put her in Slytherin with me._

* * *

_"Snape was hurrying along the corridor of the Hogwarts Express as it clattered through the countryside. He had already changed into his school robes, had perhaps taken the first opportunity to take off his dreadful Muggle clothes. At last he stopped, outside a compartment in which a group of rowdy boys were talking. Hunched in a corner seat beside the window was Lily, her face pressed against the windowpane."_

* * *

Relieved, he opened the compartment door. After he'd wandered off, he'd completely lost the Evans family. He knew they'd hardly have missed the train leaving - that thing was _loud_ – but still... he had worried.

Thankful to see Lily again, he dropped down into a seat opposite her.

If she was surprised to see him, she didn't show it. "I don't want to talk to you." As she looked briefly at him, Severus was saddened to note her face was now red from tears.

His anger towards Petunia rose.

"Why not?"

"Tuney h-hates me. Because we saw that letter from Dumbledore."

"So what?" And it was a genuine question on his part. He didn't see why it mattered. But his insensitivity earned him a dark glare from Lily.

"So she's my sister!"

"But she's only a – " Severus caught himself quickly. He'd meant to say something like _But she's not going to be here!_ and almost let something much worse slip. Thankfully, Lily didn't seem to have noticed. He cursed inwardly. A long time ago, he used to mock Muggles openly to her,_ especially_ when Petunia was present or mentioned, but he'd stopped at her request. He'd discovered it wasn't really what he believed anyway. Why had he come so close now? He knew he'd been having certain... _thoughts_ of late, but hadn't realized they'd crept so easily to the tip of his tongue.

_It's just because Lily's so upset. I'm not thinking straight_. He assured himself, promising to be more careful in future. Looking for a change in topic, he exclaimed, "But we're going!"

He'd only wanted to take her mind off Petunia, but truth be told he couldn't stop his own excitement rising at the prospect. "This is it! We're off to Hogwarts!"

As she wiped her eyes, Severus could see her struggle to hold back a smile. He knew he was in the clear. He just had to keep the conversation going.

"You better be in Slytherin." He smiled, eager to tell her about his new designated house for them both, paying no mind to the other boys in the carriage...

* * *

James Potter was very pleased with himself.

He'd barely been on the train for more than twenty minutes, and already he had single-handedly amassed a group of cronies. Even better, he'd become the _leader_ of the cronies. They were listening to _him_. He told jokes, made witty comments, and, without failure, everyone would laugh with him. He felt proud. Not that he was really that surprised, of course. It had always been this way. He was charismatic. He was popular. Even as a toddler, he'd often won over the hearts of those much older than him with an ease that was frightening. It was hardly a shock that he instantly risen to the top of his schoolmates so soon.

Still though. He was relieved. Even James Potter would secretly admit he'd been nervous about his first day.

He glanced over at the messy-haired boy beside him. _Sirius._ James had only just met him, like the others, but he was fast becoming his favourite. He too praised James, along with the rest of the boys, but seemed the only one capable of keeping up with him. James had fast discovered Sirius' wit rivaled (and perhaps even outmatched!) his own. He felt no resentment about this. James was not a spiteful person by nature. To the contrary, he greatly admired Sirius already, and found his respect only growing by the minute.

So immersed was he in the group's playful antics that, initially, he didn't even notice the entrance of a young boy with long black hair. Neither did the boy pay any attention to James and his friends. He went and sat opposite a red-haired girl. Honestly, if you'd asked him, James had forgotten she was even in the carriage. He continued his playful banter until something caught his ear.

"You better be in Slytherin."

James felt his nose wrinkle in disgust. _A Slytherin? _In his carriage? He had heard all about_ Slytherins_. But he hadn't, until now, really believed anyone actually wanted to be in _that_ house. For the first time, he looked at the boy. Pale, with a sullen face and long dark hair trailing around his face in tails. He certainly looked the part. James decided straight away he wasn't going to like him. And the girl beside him...she looked so nice and friendly. Sweet. What if the snake boy convinced_ her_ Slytherin was a good house to be in? No way. He opened his mouth to say something mocking.

And stopped.

Something didn't feel right. A feeling in the pit of his stomach suddenly told him this wasn't a good idea. For some reason, he felt that demeaning this boy now would have very, very bad consequences. _What? _The boy looked pathetic. There was nothing he could do to James, especially not with Sirius and his other friends at his side. He was untouchable. Why couldn't he bring himself to speak?

He only hesitated for a second. But that was enough.

Sirius had also turned round. He'd heard the word 'Slytherin' too and his face was contorted in a similar expression of disgust to his own. Seeing James' expression, he'd paused, allowing him to go first (James realised in that moment, he really _had_ become the leader of their group), but seeing his silence, he'd shrugged and turned to the Slytherin-wannabe instead.

Sirius spoke first.

* * *

Unlike James, Sirius' first day had not been an easy ride. Hell, Sirius' _life_ had not been an easy ride. Like most, his family had dropped him off at the station today, but there were neither smiles nor tears during the House of Black farewell. Just a swift and stern lecture(one reminding him not, under any accounts, to dishonor the family name) then a stiff goodbye. Even among the pureblood families, that was _harsh_. He suspected he might have been the only one not to receive a hug from his own parents today.

Not that he wanted one, of course. He hated Slytherin just as much as James, but for much deeper and much less superficial reasons. House Black had ensured that. His childhood had been a misery, and while he couldn't yet know it – that was something he shared in common with the new kid he'd turned to face.

While just as charismatic and likeable as James, Sirius had not yet built the natural confidence that comes with being well-liked for a long time. And as he looked at the boy – the honest conviction in his face – the_ genuine_ belief that Slytherin would make him happy, could make _anyone_ happy, he was suddenly struck by an odd thought. Just how much the boy reminded him of Regulus. His younger brother – the one he had, not two hours past, abandoned at home.

Regulus. Still a small boy. Still painfully innocent. Endlessly devoted to his family's house before he even came to Hogwarts, though his current ambition ranged no higher than joining the Quidditch team. That wouldn't last.

Sirius had tried to bring Reg round to his side before he left, he really had. But his brother was too young. He didn't take Sirius seriously, he didn't take_ anything_ seriously, and he was far too impressionable to his – _their _– mother's influence. He doubted there was any hope left for Reg now, not now that he wouldn't be able to at least watch over him him. He didn't want to believe it, but he struggled not to.

But this kid. This kid. He was right here. No doubt brainwashed by some elitist pureblood propaganda or promise of glory, like they all were, but he was here and Sirius could help him.

* * *

When Sirius opened his mouth, it was with a friendliness James hadn't anticipated. Certainly not the mocking tone he'd been about to adopt himself.

"I wouldn't know about that, mate. My family are all Slytherins, and they're complete assholes." Sirius laughed.

James turned to face his friend, surprised. He hadn't known that. "Blimey, Black, and I thought you were alright!" he jested, playfully. Suddenly, he felt thankful he hadn't said anything. What if he had offended Sirius, his new friend? Maybe that was what had been bothering him. Maybe some part of his subconscious had recognized the Black family name and warned him off saying something he'd regret. Yeah, that must have been it.

* * *

"I wouldn't know about that, mate. My family are all Slytherins, and they're complete assholes."

Severus looked up sharply at the boy across the table. He wasn't particularly happy about the interruption to his talk with Lily. The boy had black hair, not completely unlike his own, but his face was open and smiling, and _that_ was very unlike Severus' own. Suddenly, he realised that the boy's features looked familiar, Severus thought he knew where he'd seen them before, and the other boy's response confirmed his suspicions.

"Blimey, Black, and I thought you were alright!"

His eyes widened. "You're from the House of Black!" he exclaimed. "I've read about you." Indeed, he had been a great admirer of the Black family. Some of the most powerful witches and wizards of all time had derived from that bloodline. He was surprised that this boy in front of him seemed to have so little love for his family. Surely he felt proud to be part of such a great house?

"Yeah," said the boy, "A lot of people have. I'm not very happy about it though. Sirius Black." He smiled and reached over to shake Severus' hand. He accepted the shake, surprised at the friendliness of the boy. Most kids he knew had not been so kind to him.

"Severus Snape."He replied. Friendly or not, he was still no less confused."Why not?"

Sirius shrugged. "Just trust me. There's no love lost in our family."

"But how can that be? You're the Blacks! One of the strongest houses there is!"

Sirius was unimpressed. "So what? What's the point of strength in a family when no one likes each other? My parents barely still acknowledge I exist anymore. Even then, it's just because they think this 'caring about people' thing I got going on is some kind of phase I'll grow out of."

Severus felt uneasy. Black's parents were an uneasy reminder of his own. Although in truth, he suspected it was Eileen and Tobias' _lack_ of ambition that had been the cause in their case. Eileen, because she hadn't the strength to climb her way out of the hole she'd dug, and Tobias because – because, well, he couldn't see any higher than the ground he crawled over. Not to mention he was a...

"I'm really sorry about that. But...That doesn't mean all Slytherins are bad. I'm sure lots of people make terrible parents. Surely the house you're in at_ school_ isn't what's important? There's probably plenty of them in every house!"

Sirius snorted. "Yeah, but Slytherin is teeming with them. Trust me, all that lot care about is money and blood."

Severus, for the first time, suddenly felt slightly unsure of himself. He'd assumed...he'd assumed it was all different in the wizarding world. He'd assumed happy families came easy here. Why wouldn't they? Witches and Wizards had everything they would ever need at the tip of their wands. How could anyone not be content with that? How could anyone want _more_? And one of the families he'd most admired, the House of Black, who had _so much_ talent and history to their name, could not even raise a happy son?

He stared at Black. Maybe he was just wrong. Maybe he was just short-sighted and ungrateful for what he had. The thought comforted him more than his worries. Yet, somehow, looking at Sirius, Severus couldn't help but like him. He didn't want him to be wrong. The first boy – perhaps even eventually _friend _– he'd met. But he didn't want him to be _right _either.

It was one to mull over.

"Blood? What do you mean?" Lily asked, confused, speaking for the first time.

Black looked over at her, surprised. "You don't know? You don't know about the pureblood families? What they're like?"

Lily shook her head. Severus began to feel even more uncomfortable. As soon as he'd found out about the prejudices that existed towards Muggle-borns, he'd known Lily would find out about it too, eventually. He'd hoped she wouldn't, but knew it was a fools wish. Even so, the _train journey_ _to Hogwarts _seemed painfully early for her to discover them! She hadn't been to her first lesson yet! He shot Black a dirty look. He wanted to change the subject and protect her, but knew he couldn't. The curiosity in her eyes was too strong.

"Well, they say you're 'pureblood' if you're only descended from witches and wizards. No Muggles. There are a lot of pureblood families that think they're better than everyone else 'cause of it. How anyone would believe a lot of inbreeding could cause that, I have no idea, but they reckon the magical blood is stronger. Reckon Muggle-borns and the like aren't worth having at the school, and have all sorts of horrible names for them."

The fourth boy – the one with glasses – winked at Black. "I should have known you were inbred, Sirius." Black laughed. At his words, Severus looked at the boy beside Sirius, who had been very quiet since his initial comment, until now. He had black hair too, though it was messy and short, with glasses and hazel eyes. The boy saw him looking, and turned to stare at him. Severus half expected an introduction, like the one Sirius had given, but received none. He felt the eyes across the table were cold to him, though he wasn't sure why.

"Hell with you James, the Potter family's hardly any better." Sirius teased. The statement made it easy for Severus to deduce his name. _James Potter_.

Severus returned his gaze to Lily. She looked sad again, and it wasn't hard to figure out why. "Don't listen to that nonsense about blood, Lily. Everyone with any sense knows that it doesn't matter if your parents are muggles. _I_ know you're amazing at magic." He looked to Sirius to back him up.

Sirius looked at Lily, and realized how his words had affected her. He cursed inwardly. Given his and James' families, and this other boy's interest in Slytherin, he had assumed none of them was directly affected by blood supremacy. _Idiot._ He should have figured it out when she didn't know what 'pureblood' meant. Not that his words weren't true, but he might have approached the topic with more tact, if he'd known it was going to hurt her.

"Yeah. Don't worry, miss. I was raised on that rubbish and even _I_ know it's bollocks. Everyone with sense knows it. You've nothing to fear." He smiled at the girl.

She smiled back. "It's Lily."

* * *

James was looking over at the boy called Snape thoughtfully.

He'd instantly assumed snake boy was like all the other ones he'd heard about. Slimy, pathetic, and inherently unlikeable. And he certainly_ seemed _that way at first. All that glaring and distinct lack of humour. He was surprised Sirius bothered to talk civilly to him.

But he had. And James had sat in silence, and listened.

Firstly, he'd been very surprised at Sirius' revelation. He'd known about the Black family, of course, but it was such a common surname in the Muggle world that a lot of Blacks were just half-bloods who happened to have the same name. He'd never even considered Sirius was from_ the_ Black family.

Not that it changed anything, of course. Had he been of weaker character, it might have. But James was ferociously loyal and Sirius was his friend. He decided, instantly, he didn't care where Black came from. That was fine with James. Besides, Black had basically denounced his whole family in the same sentence anyway. Clearly there was nothing to worry about there.

This other boy though. He was severely struggling to like him. He was just so..._dark_. He even _looked_ a bit like a snake. He seemed the most classical case of a Slytherin devotee he'd ever seen – not that he'd met many at this point, admittedly – and he couldn't for the life of him figure out why Sirius was wasting his time on him.

He'd even tried to make him_ laugh_! Sure, the inbred joke had been mainly reflex – he'd seen the opportunity and taken it, like he always did – but he'd also carefully gauged Snape's reaction and he hadn't even raised a grin! All the other boys laughed at his japes, and he couldn't help but be distrustful of someone who couldn't even understand a basic joke.

But then...something gave him food for thought. When the redhead girl had shown her discomfort at the conversation, the snake boy had turned to her. Of course, that in itself was no surprise. James had already figured out from their body language, and the glances they exchanged, that they were close friends already. What was more surprising was the conversation that followed.

She was a Muggle-born.

James didn't care about that, obviously. But what surprised him more was that snake boy _didn't seem to care either_. He comforted her, even told her that blood didn't matter. A Slytherin! Saying blood didn't matter! He'd have laughed at the thought if he hadn't just seen it happen. Something here didn't sit right with him at all. _But Slytherins _hate_ Muggle-borns!_ _They do! It's practically the defining characteristic of their house!_

James sat back, deep in thought. He still didn't trust this Snape character, not one bit. But he was proving to be very interesting. Very interesting indeed.


	4. The Journey to Hogwarts

"What are you up to?"

Disembarking the Hogwarts Express, Sirius raised an eyebrow as he was immediately pulled to the side and accosted by James Potter. "Hel – _lo_ there James. What's up?"

"You know what's up. _That_ _Snape kid_, what are you doing being so nice to him?"

"I'm just a nice guy, James."

"Don't give me that rubbish, Black. You got eyes the same as me, you can see what he's like." James ran his hand through his hair. He still couldn't make sense of it."You talk about how you want to get away from all that pureblood crap, that you're sick of it, but it seemed pretty hard to believe that when you're making jokes and laughing with _his _sort! Now I'm thinking maybe you're not so honest as you say." James narrowed his eyes. It was a bluff, he didn't believe anything of the sort, but he had to pressure Sirius for an answer.

It seemed to work, Sirius looked slightly hurt at the idea James could doubt him. "I _do_. B-But... he didn't seem so bad. He even said he didn't care about blood."

"Yeah, sure, he_ said _that. But you saw how his eyes lit up at the name 'Black.' He was practically ready fall down at your feet. '_One of the greatest families there is_!'" he scoffed. "He _cares_ alright Sirius. He cares a lot." James went on. "I'm not_ trying_ to be an arsehole about this, you know. If you want to have friends in other houses, that's fine by me. But Slytherins are different. You _know_ this. Hell, you probably know it better than any friends I've ever had, which is why it baffles me most of all coming from you. You can't trust them. Cunning and deceit is practically written into them. They'll betray you. Always. Or even worse, they'll drag you down with them so you're no better than they are." In truth, James couldn't possibly have known this at eleven years of age. He was paraphrasing the words his own father and grandfather had taught him, but he believed them with no less conviction. "I don't want to see you hurt trying to make friends with one."

"Christ, James, he's not even been sorted yet. None of us have. I might be a Slytherin! Or you! Or maybe he _won't_ be. How would you feel then?"

James shot him a _Don't-Be-Stupid _look.

Sirius sighed. "I know James. You're right. Honestly, I don't especially like him either. It's just..." He dropped his gaze. James _was_ right. In fact, Sirius' initial reaction had been to simply mock the boy, just like him. It had been his chance to show all his new friends that he – _Sirius Black_ – was nothing like his family. He'd wanted to demonstrate that that he didn't have any leftover loyalties for Slytherin and was going to openly ridicule anyone wanting to join that particular house.

But something that stopped him.

"He reminded me of Reg."

James tilted his head. _What?_ "Reg? Your brother?"

"Yeah...I had to say goodbye to him this morning. I think I'm still feeling guilty. About that. Guilty because I couldn't do any more for him. You know, 'cause I had to leave him with mother, and she's a vindictive bitch. I think I told you that." Sirius explained to James, who was still relatively new to Sirius' personal life. "It's not like I _wanted_ to leave him, but what choice did I have? Then – out the blue – there was suddenly _Snape..._looking so small and pathetic... Gosh, can he really be our age? Suppose he must be...but, James, he looked just like Reg does. He looked like he _really _thought Slytherin were the good guys. They get you young, James. They get you real young. And it's not always the kid's fault. I just sort of wondered if maybe I could talk him round. Maybe before the sorting, get him to see some sense..."

He trailed off, expecting another rebuttal from James. When that didn't come, he looked at his friend's face and nearly chuckled, despite himself. James clearly _wanted_ to keep arguing, but he could see his friend was trying to hold himself back. Trying to see Sirius' point of view.

Eventually, James sighed and laughed."You're _so_ going to be in Gryffindor. That's the most noble cause I've ever heard for talking to a Slytherin."

Sirius laughed. "You think I'm stupid."

James grinned. "Course I do. But not because of this." Sirius punched him, playfully. "Fair enough, Black. I still think you're wrong. It's way too late for snake boy. But have it your way. We'll see if we can talk him round on the way up to the castle. But after that, when he's sorted into Slytherin and I'm proved _right_ – we drop it as a lost cause. Deal?"

"Deal."

* * *

"Lily! Come on, the train's stopped!"

"What? Oh..." Lily looked round, startled. She'd been gazing out the window for the last hour, yet somehow managed to miss the fact the train had pulled to a halt right in front of her. The other boys had already left the carriage, seemingly in some rush to get outside, and Sev was now motioning her to follow suit, looking restless.

"Yeah, be right there Sev, just let me get my things. See you outside?" She smiled. Sev was clearly desperate to go out and look around, and she didn't want to keep him behind. He nodded, returned the smile, and moved towards the door.

She hadn't spoken as much as the others during the journey. After the initial conversation, she'd allowed herself to drift off into her own world. Her mind was overrun with such a whirl of emotions, she needed some time to get them all straight in her head.

Primarily, she was excited. Of course she was. She was going to practice magic with her best friend. What young girl wouldn't be? Gosh, even the _food trolley_ had amazed her! She glanced down at her trunk, now home to a newly-purchased mountain of chocolate frogs. She couldn't help herself, they moved! _They really moved!_ Naturally, her parents would have been horrified at the amount of sugar she'd just stashed away, but that was the joy of boarding school. _They didn't need to know._

The thought of her parents saddened her, however. That was one of the reasons she wasn't as happy as she could have been at that moment. She was terribly, terribly homesick. And Tuney...Tuney was the worst of it. She hadn't even said _goodbye_, despite all of Lily's pleading. Curse her! She wished she could be like Sev, and not care at all about things like that, but she did. She loved Tuney with all her heart. It hurt her deeply to know something so stupid had come between them.

That wasn't all that was on her mind, however. Other, newer topics had risen.

_"You better be in Slytherin."_

Sev's words had surprised her. Of course, she'd knew all about the Hogwarts houses, Sev had told her about them ages ago, but she hadn't been aware he was so interested in Slytherin these days. Hadn't they always said they'd be in Ravenclaw together? What had changed?

It had thrown her. She hadn't even thought about Slytherin house. If not Ravenclaw, she'd have picked Hufflepuff, probably. But not Slytherin. What was so special about Slytherin?

It really hadn't helped that the boy – the one she now knew as _Sirius Black _– had jumped in with his two cents. The things he said about Slytherins were awful! Sev had never made them sound particularly appealing, true, but he'd never mentioned anything about blood purity or anything like that. He'd never mentioned that they – or anyone else for that matter – might look down on her because of her _parents_. Lily trusted Sev with her life, and she knew he would never do anything to hurt her – but _why _then his interest in this horrible-sounding, elitist house?

Of course it was possible that Black was just wrong. She didn't know anything about him, and though he seemed likable enough, she wasn't fool enough to let charisma win her over. It certainly seemed far more likely to her that Sev –_ her Sev_, who was so very clever – knew what he was talking about, over this random, strange boy she'd never met. She decided to trust Sev. If he said Slytherin was a good house, then that was enough for her.

Still though. She worried. She didn't want to admit it to herself, but technically, Sev hadn't actually _denied _anything Sirius had said about Slytherin...

When she finished collecting her stuff, she shook her head and decided not to think about it too much. Glancing out the window, she saw that Hogsmeade station, though smaller, looked even more thrilling than the one they had just departed from. Her enthusiasm returning, she eagerly moved to the door, to where Sev would be waiting for her. Suddenly something as trivial as_ houses_ seemed unimportant. She was going to _Hogwarts!_

Though secretly, a small part of her hesitated long enough to hope these snobby, pureblood families Black spoke of didn't _really_ exist. Or if they did, she shuddered, that she'd never have to meet any.

* * *

"Mind if we join you?" asked Sirius.

Severus looked up. The boy was standing over the boat he and Lily had selected. The boat that would carry them towards Hogwarts. Annoyance and, strangely, _happiness_ swept through him at the sight of Sirius. Annoyance, because he'd deliberately picked a boat on the outskirts of the line, in the hope no one would ask to share with him and Lily. But also happiness – for he didn't actually mind Sirius that much, and for him to have found them all the way out here, so far away from the main group, he must have been deliberately _looking_ for Sev and Lily.

He was dismayed to note the Potter boy was with him again. He'd figured out earlier Potter didn't like him, and was quick to return the sentiment. He hoped Sirius and Potter weren't going to become friends. He had decided to cautiously like Sirius for now. But if they were going to spend time together, he certainly didn't want that horrid, bespectacled companion of his hanging around all the time, sending him glares. Like that one he was giving him _right now_!

"Sure." He nodded at Sirius, coolly not deigning to look at the other boy. He and Lily moved to the side, making space for the new additions.

The group sat in silence for a while. Each of them was too distracted by the surrounding commotion, and their own personal sense of awe, to make conversation at first. Eventually, all the boats had been filled, and much to their – and especially Lily's – surprise, they began to move of their own accord. The huge hoard of boats drifted out, moving all at once, falling into formation as easily as flock of birds or school of fish. The final leg of the journey underway, the four of them turned back to one another.

"Whatcha think, eh, Lily?" Sirius smiled, gesturing at the Castle up ahead. "Anything like what they got in the Muggle world?"

"It's beautiful..." She whispered. Her eyes were shining at the magnificent sight before her. It was _nothing _like what they had in the Muggle world. She'd seen castles, but this was something else entirely. It looked like a castle built out of castles. The number of turrets! She didn't see how it could possibly hold itself up. Though, she supposed, with magic it didn't need to. And it looked so friendly. She'd never seen a building look particularly friendly before, other than perhaps her own home. But this one did. Suddenly, bizarrely, she felt like she was actually going home. Like a distant long, lost second home. "If only Tuney could see _this_!"

"Tuney? Who's Tuney? Your dog or something?" Sirius puzzled.

Severus burst out laughing. Both Sirius and Potter looked baffled. Lily shot him a dirty look. "Her name's Petunia...She's my sister."

"Oh! Sorry."

"It's okay. You didn't know." Lily assured him, sending Sev another look for good measure.

Remembering his promise to Sirius, and encouraged somewhat by Snape's unexpected show of good cheer. James decided to involve himself in the conversation.

"So...uh..._Severus_...you thought much more about what house you want to be in?"

Sev turned. It was the first time Potter had spoken directly to him. He was exceedingly wary. He knew Potter didn't like him, but hadn't quite figured out the reason why yet. Was it nothing more than his appearance? That was usually enough for most people. But James hadn't exchanged a single word with him in the whole carriage ride, so why was he talking to him now? Why the sudden interest in his house preferences? _So he doesn't have to be in the same house as you, idiot._ Suddenly, a thought occurred to him. Maybe Potter wanted to be in Slytherin as well, and was angry he'd have to share a dorm with Severus!

His resolve tightened. He wasn't going to be intimidated out of his choice like that. He'd had enough of bullies. "Still hoping for Slytherin, myself."

James eyes narrowed. "You sure about that, Snape? There's a lot of bad apples in Slytherin. They say there wasn't ever an evil witch or wizard who wasn't in that house."

Severus' own eyes narrowed in turn. _Was Potter trying to scare him off? Or genuinely warn him?_ Severus had wondered about the calibre of Slytherin's students before, but he found it hard to believe that Potter, who clearly looked at him with such strong dislike, could actually care about his well being. No. It had to be the first option.

At Snape's hesitation, James wondered he was actually getting through to him. Looking for a follow-up comment, his eyes drifted to Lily. Though the concept baffled him, snake boy seemed to genuinely care for the girl, and he wondered if he could use that to his advantage. "Maybe you could spare a thought for your _girlfriend_ and what they'd do to her in there."

James' advice had been genuine when he said it. He really thought raising the subject of Lily would make a convincing arguing. But, in spite of his best efforts, his dislike for Snape shone through and he failed to keep his voice level. What'd he meant as an honest statement came across all wrong; his tone condescending and cruel.

Snap's cheeks went red. "She's not my girlfriend, _Potter_. And they wouldn't do anything to her, because Slytherin cares about _talent _and_ ambition_, not blood, and she's got heaps of those. I don't care what lies you're trying to feed me. So why don't you just shut your mouth?"

Despairingly, James looked over at Sirius and shrugged_. I tried_, his look said. Sirius nodded, sadly. _I know._

Severus didn't fail to notice the look of disappointment on Black's face. "Sorry Sirius. I know what you said about your family and stuff, but I'm still kinda set. Who knows? Maybe I'll be the exception that proves you wrong."

Sirius sighed, resigned. "I hope so, Severus," though he clearly didn't believe it.

The boat sat in silence for a few awkward moments, James and Severus both glaring each other, Sirius and Lily pretending not to notice. Like they could possibly_ fail_ to notice it.

Eventually James turned back to the girl. Lily. He'd barely noticed her until now, though they'd shared a carriage earlier. She seemed quiet. Kinda boring if James was honest with himself – but still much more likeable than Snape, at least. "What about you, Lily, what are you thinking about all this? What house you hoping for?"

Lily looked surprised. She glanced over to Sev, obviously not sure whether to reply to Potter or not She wasn't sure she wanted to, not after what had just happened. But Sev seemed just as curious about her answer as James – _more so_, in fact.

"Uhm. I don't know really. I guess Slytherin wouldn't be so bad," she lied, her heart tugging when she saw Sev's brightened face, "but maybe I'd be better suited for Ravenclaw or something."

James nodded, comforted. He'd thought she might say Slytherin for her friend's sake, but thankfully he could see her heart wasn't really in it. That was some relief. At least _she_ was safe from the snake. Content, he settled down to watch the approaching castle.

No more was said on that particular boat ride. Lily briefly considered asking Sirius and James about their house preferences, but a look from Severus told her he was sick of that particular conversation. Finding nothing more to talk about, she fell into silence with the rest of them.

Suddenly, she felt incredibly frustrated with the other boys on the boat. They seemed to all have fallen out over some underlying subtext – something she couldn't figure out. This was the trip to _Hogwarts_ for goodness sake! She didn't understand how anyone could care so much about stupid houses that it would divide them before they'd even arrived!

Determined not to let their obtuseness spoil her first experience of magic school, she decided not to pay it any attention. She began to hum cheerfully. The tune was a Muggle song, but a particularly melodic one that suited Lily's sweet, childish voice well. Each of the boys was far too absorbed in their own thoughts to look round at the noise, but inwardly, they all smiled at the sound.


	5. A Different Sorting?

**AN: Hi all! Updates might be a little slower for the next week, I have some coursework to catch up on, but I'll hopefully get right back on track during the Christmas break. Much love and thanks for reading/reviewing!**

* * *

_"I'm sorry. This is just...a little overwhelming. Can you do it one more time?"_

_The Evans' kitchen table was piled high with a wide assortment of seemingly random objects. There was a matchbox, cupcakes, some paperclips, a book, marmalade, a harmonica, a horse shoe, sherbet lemons, shoelaces, chalk, a candle, those-things-they-use-to-measure-foot-size-at-the-store, a pair of trousers and even a small mouse, scurrying its way through the shamble like a rodent-sized jungle gym. Behind the table, Mr. and Mrs. Evans sat hand-in-hand with wide eyes. Though they had not noticed it, their chairs had moved much closer together – and their grip on each others hands greatly increased – since they had initially sat down._

_"Mr. and Mrs. Evans. I can demonstrate many times as you need. However, I cannot help but feel if you do not believe me by now, there is little benefit to me continuing to redecorate your house."_

_Mr. Evans glanced around the room, the leopard print walls and polka dot carpet a dramatic change from the pastel colours of this morning, and cleared his throat. "Em, no, sorry, you're right. It's just..."_

_"It's overwhelming. Yes. I believe you've mentioned that. Fourteen times if I'm not wrong." The words were blunt, but the twinkling eyes nestled behind half-moon spectacles were laughing._

_"Right. Sorry... Professor -"_

_A sleepy-eyed Lily Evans appeared at the door, woken by the pops and bangs she'd heard downstairs. Her tiredness quickly faded at the sight of the man in their kitchen. Taking in the long silvery beard, the rich robes and clear evidence of magic in their kitchen, she knew there was only one man this could be. "Dumbledore!" she yelled._

_Mr. Evans looked round. His expression of wonder disappeared, replaced by a frown. "Have you seen this man before, Lily?" He certainly wasn't happy to hear about any strange men, magical or otherwise, interacting with his daughter without his knowledge._

_"No. But Sev told me about him! He's come to tell us about magic and Hogwarts, right? Right? Oh please, you are Dumbledore aren't you?"_

_Dumbledore turned to look at the child. It was exceptionally unusual for a Muggleborn to know about Hogwarts or his name before he arrived. "That's right, Lily." He chuckled. "I am indeed Professor Dumbledore, headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, and you, Lily Evans, are a witch. One who would be most welcome at our school." _

_Lily squealed. Mr. Evans relaxed somewhat at the news – though he could still hardly take in what he had heard so far this morning. Mrs. Evans took her turn to speak. "Sev told you, darling? You mean he knows about magic as well?" _

_Her daughter nodded enthusiastically._

_"Who is Sev, Lily?" Dumbledore asked, genuinely interested._

_"Severus Snape, Professor! He's my best friend. He's magical too. You should go visit him as well, oh, oh! He would be so happy to see you Professor! He'll come to Hogwarts too, right?" _

_ Severus Snape. Dumbledore knew the name, certainly. He made sure to acquaint himself with all new first years, even before they arrived. The boy was from the Prince family, a long line of Slytherin purebloods in the most traditional sense. His mother, however, had broken the expectations of her family and taken a Muggle husband. How very interesting that her son was now best friends with a Muggleborn girl as well. _

_"He certainly will, Lily." Unfortunately there was no chance of him visiting the Snape household before term started. Severus had a magical mother, and hence it was her responsibility to prepare the boy for school. However, he had to admit, he had suddenly become very interested in the boy._

_He made a mental note to keep an eye out for Severus Snape. _

* * *

The small boats pulled up at an underground harbour. They'd travelled for some time through a dark tunnel in the rock, and Severus presumed they must be right underneath the castle by now.

There was a mutual, unspoken agreement between all four passengers on the boat. Though no one said it, they all knew that sharing had been a bad idea and were relieved when the boats arrived and they could part company.

"See you guys later," Sirius said gruffly, before moving to follow Potter, who was already walking quickly towards the front of the crowd.

Lily looked to Sev. She hoped the boat ride hadn't put him in a bad mood. He often took other people's comments too much to heart, and had been known to sulk for days on end about such things. She was relieved to see his face, free of anger, had returned to his earlier cheer.

"Oy, come on ye lot. Up them stairs there. Watch yer step, mind!"

They smiled at each other, and followed the voice of a giant man, waving the huge group of first years towards a staircase embedded in the bedrock. The path was steep, and left the students too out of breath to hold conversation. At the top, they were ushered through a huge oak door and into a magnificent entrance hall, where they were ordered to prepare themselves for the sorting.

Severus was surprised. He hadn't realised the sorting would be so soon. Suddenly he felt nervous. As much as he'd anticipated it – he'd always thought of it like he had plenty of time to think it over. He'd at least figured he'd be able to sleep on it tonight. But it was only a few of minutes until he'd be put in his house for the next seven years! What if he didn't like where they put him? Panicking, he thought again about the four houses. Slytherin, Ravenclaw...even Gryffindor had all appealed to him at some point. The former was his first choice, the second would be fine, even the third one wouldn't be _so_ bad, he supposed, though it seemed brutish and unsophisticated to him now. _Just not Hufflepuff_. _Please not Hufflepuff_. From what he'd read, Hufflepuff was synonymous with impartial and weak. He couldn't stand the thought of his peers – especially Lily – viewing him as pathetic like that.

He'd barely had enough time to resolve his thoughts before the group was again led away, this time into an even larger hall, one even more awe-inspiring than the first. Lily's head was turning this way and that, desperately trying to drink it all in – the four brightly coloured tables bustling with students, the enchanted, starry ceiling, the light, the grandeur, the magic. Severus admired for a while too, though once his eyes landed upon the ragged hat perched on a stool, he found it impossible to tear his gaze away again.

After all the first years had entered, the Hat suddenly came to life, moving with more personality and character than Severus had seen in many people.

A rip near the brim opened and – much to Severus and Lily's surprise – it burst into song. The first years gaped at the sight of a singing hat, and listened to lyrics telling of the four founders, each of their houses, and the promise of greatness in all of them. No sooner had it finished, than the entire hall burst into applause. Lily beamed at Sev. "Wasn't that amazing?" He nodded, stunned. The noise in the hall intimidated him slightly. He didn't think he'd ever heard so many people shout at one time in his life. Everything was moving so fast.

An older witch produced a register and started calling forth students. Each one in turn walked up to the hat, tried it on, and then – sometimes several minutes later, sometimes immediately – the hat would call the name of a house. Sev watched with a keen curiosity. Though he knew none of these people, he found himself trying to guess, on appearance alone, where they'd be put.

"Black, Sirius."

At the first name he recognized, Severus paid special attention to this sorting. The hat was dropped on a mat of black hair, and Severus watched with baited breath. This turned out to be one of the longer sortings, and Severus suspected the hat was debating what to do with the only Black who didn't want to be a Slytherin.

"GRYFFINDOR!" the hat finally yelled.

_Yes!_ Sirius visibly mouthed. He scrambled to his feet and ran, beaming, to table decked with red and gold. Though Sev had no great love for Gryffindor (and had secretly hoped Sirius might be put with him in Slytherin _anyway_) he couldn't help but be happy the boy had at least been granted his wish.

A few more names were called, and Severus found he was usually wrong about his guesses. Except, he did note, those put in Slytherin. There was a pattern - they all seemed to be better groomed and more restrained than those in other houses. He wasn't sure how to feel about this. Looking at his own cheap robes and greasy hair, he wondered _how _he could possibly fit in with the well-dressed witches and wizards he saw at that table. Feeling glum, he realised it was unlikely he would. Perhaps it was a fool's dream. The Sorting Hat would simply laugh at the idea and put him in Hufflepuff. He frowned at the thought.

"Evans, Lily"

The frown disappeared. Now here was a sorting he really _was_ interested in. He reached out to give her hand a reassuring squeeze, and she returned it, before turning and making her way to the stool. The hat had barely touched her red hair before it loudly yelled its answer.

"GRYFFINDOR!"

Severus let out a sigh. Not what he'd been hoping for. Oh well, at least she'd have Black there to look out for her. He suddenly felt himself seriously reconsidering his choice. If he could be in Gryffindor, he'd get to spend all his time with Lily... The thought excited him. Hell, maybe even Sirius Black might be his friend! It would be only the second friend he'd ever had in his life... Curses! Why did the sorting have to be so _soon_? He wanted time to think!

More names were called. More students sorted. Severus looked over to see Sirius and Lily sitting next to each other at the Gryffindor table. Lily's gaze met his and waved. He returned the wave and, in an action that was quite unusual for him, allowed himself to show his fear. She gave a reassuring smile and mouthed _It'll be fine!_ He returned the smile and turned back to see Potter's sorting.

"GRYFFINDOR!"

_Now_ Severus groaned. Watching Potter run to give Sirius a high-five, he realised there was no chance the two wouldn't be friends. He cursed inwardly. Thankfully, he saw Lily didn't look much happier than him at the announcement.

By the time his own name was finally called, his legs were shaking. He walked uncertainly to the stool, but trying to mask his nervousness; he didn't know if the hat was watching him already.

He perched on the stool, and a hat fell down upon his head.

Everything went dark.

"Well, well, well! What do we have here..." Severus jumped, before realising it was the sound of the hat itself. "A difficult one here, you have traits of all four houses in you, boy..."

_Not Hufflepuff. Not Hufflepuff._ He thought.

"Hm. No. Not Hufflepuff, I don't think. Though you certainly have a kindness in you... and _love_, plenty of love...but far too stubborn and ambitious for Hufflepuff. Where, then?"

Relieved at the hat's comment, Severus relaxed slightly. Though he didn't particularly like being called 'stubborn.' He didn't understand what the hat meant by 'love' either – far as he could remember, he didn't like many people.

"You would do well in Ravenclaw, ah, I can see you already know this. Gryffindor too – but I doubt you could much stand the atmosphere. No – far too introverted for Gryffindor. Slytherin, though...you could do great things there, yes great things..."

Severus caught his breath, he barely dared hope...

"Slytherin or Ravenclaw, then? Both would suit you well, but... Aha! Your thoughts say it all. Better be...SLYTHERIN!"

Sev gave a small smile. He wouldn't be with Lily, sadly, but he'd done it. He'd made it to Slytherin. The hat hadn't laughed at him at all! To the contrary, it had said he would do _great things_!

His legs still weak, he stumbled to the green-covered table where his housemates were applauding him. The sensation was alien. No one had ever clapped for him. He found a seat and a tall, blond-haired prefect clapped him on the back. Grinning, he looked around the table and smiled.

* * *

Over at the Gryffindor table, James looked at Sirius smugly, like he'd just won a bet.

Sirius sighed.

* * *

Meanwhile, Albus Dumbledore eyed Slytherin's newest addition with a keen curiosity.

He had seen the friendship between Severus Snape and Lily Evans clear as day. The way he had squeezed her hand and she had smiled at him from the Gryffindor table - each reassuring each other without thought, like it was second nature to them.

It was not that unusual for someone with pureblood ancestry to break from tradition. Sirius Black, another student, had proven that early in the sorting. But usually the break was clean, a fresh start, a different _house_. How curious that Severus should remain a Slytherin, yet openly hold the hand of a Muggleborn, without a care in the world?

Dumbledore had a feeling the next years would be difficult for Severus. His peers would not easily tolerate such a friendship. At some point it was likely he would have to chose between his house and his friends.

Dumbledore was very curious to see how that decision would go.

* * *

**AN: Hmm, perhaps not what you were expecting! (Or maybe it was?) Personally, I think Sev was always going to be a Slytherin, from long, long before he got on the Hogwarts Express. But does that mean the rest of his fate was settled too? Who knows...  
You might have noticed there were subtle differences here already. For one thing, Sev doesn't groan when Lily is sorted, only when James is. I don't think he'd have felt half as anti-Gryffindor as he did if James hadn't boasted about his love of the house so early on.**


	6. Potions

Where on earth was he?

Not in the Great Hall, that was for sure. Lily had asked all down the Slytherin table for him.

Oh, hadn't _that_ had gone well. Expecting something like the warm, friendly nature of her own house, she'd been stunned at how coldly the people as the Slytherin table looked at her. A particular few acted as if she was nothing more than the dirt under their shoe. Some had been worse than others, admittedly, but she couldn't recall a single, genuinely friendly face.

She'd been about to give up when one of them, giving the air he was tired of hearing her voice, finally deigned to answer. "Severus. One of the new first years, right? I think he went outside."

"Thanks!" Lily beamed, determined to show_ she_ wasn't going to forget her manners, even if everyone there was so rude.

So now she was heading out the front entrance, desperate to see her best friend and talk about what had transpired since she'd seen him the evening before. She hoped he was there, classes would start in less than an hour and she didn't have time to look anywhere else.

"Sev! Sev!"

She finally spotted him, sitting by the same lake they had sailed across the day before. Taking a moment to appreciate the beauty of the huge expanse of water in daylight, Lily remembered that time was a issue, and ran down to meet him. Severus turned at the sound of her voice.

"Hey Sev!" She dropped down to the ground beside him. It wasn't hard to tell why he'd come here. The view was breathtaking.

"Hey Lily," he answered, giving a small smile.

"You're down here early! Didn't you want breakfast? It's really good. They have so many different kinds of jam. You'd love it!"

"Already had it. I woke up early."

"Oh. Okay." She jumped to another topic, "What's your house like? I couldn't _believe_ it when they sorted me into Gryffindor! Me, brave? Hah! But it's alright really, the people seem really nice. Sirius was telling the funniest jokes! James too, although I still think he's a bit of a prat, really. I made some other friends. Mary and Alice, they're absolutely lovely. We share a dorm! And our common room! It's all the way up on the seventh floor. Bit of a walk, but oh, Sev, the_ view_! You wouldn't believe it. You really must come visit, do they allow that you think? People from other houses? I don't know but – " she cut herself off, aware of how fast she was talking, and blushed. She knew Sev didn't like silly rambling.

Sev smiled at her enthusiasm. "I'd love to come visit sometime, Lily. Slytherin's really great too! Our dorm's way down in the dungeons. I thought it would be pretty dark and depressing there, but it's actually kinda nice. You get good peace and quiet – you know how annoying it is when people interrupt your reading – and the people are great too. Way better than Mu - ...the kids back home. They're all really mature and talking about how they can't wait for lessons to start. So we can start learning really important things, you know. One of the prefects asked how much preparation I'd done and when I showed him, he said he could tell I was going to be a great wizard!"

Lily was happy to hear how well Sev was settling in, and pulled her friend into a tight hug. She did wonder, however, how these people Sev so admired could be the same ones who'd treated her so indifferently only that morning.

"Oh, Sev! The time! Come on, trust you to go wandering out by yourself. We'd better get to class!"

* * *

Potions was the first lesson the Gryffindors and the Slytherins had together.

Severus followed Lily into the room. He was particularly excited for this class, truth be told. The logical, calculated process of potion brewing appealed to his analytical brain. Far more than the brashness of Flying or the frivolity of Charms.

As they passed the rows, he spotted Sirius off to the side, sitting beside Potter. He waved, but was disappointed to find Sirius paid no attention and turned back to talk to Potter. _Probably didn't see me._

Lily and Severus immediately found two desks together and waited for the lesson to begin.

A bumbling, fat, old Professor wandered into the room. "Good day, first years! I am Professor Slughorn and I am your Potions Professor for the year. Now, I hope you've all prepared over the summer, for potion-brewing isn't a simple art! It's nothing like the simple Muggle-cooking some of you may be familiar with, no! This is something far more significant and..."

Severus' mind wandered, quickly finding Professor Slughorn's way of rambling rather boring. He didn't naturally incur respect, not the way other Professors like McGonagall did. He was basically just reciting the preface to _Magical Drafts and Potions _anyway, a book Severus had already finished. He hoped the brewing wasn't going to be as tedious as the teacher.

Ten minutes later, he was pleased to discover this was not the case. He and Lily paired together, and quickly found they made a natural team. She, like him, had already read the textbook and they didn't need to waste as much time preparing as other students in the class. He'd always known he and Lily were smarter than other kids back home, but hadn't been sure if that would still be the case at Hogwarts. He was pleased to discover they were already excelling. They finished their potion first – a simple one to cure boils – and Professor Slughorn could barely contain his glee.

"Excellent! _Excellent_! You know, it's very rare for someone to complete the first potion straight away. And this is not a bad sample, not bad at all...Excellent! Well done! Five points to Gryffindor and five points to Slytherin! For all your hard work, you may leave the class early."

Lily blushed and spluttered her thanks, and Severus gave a smug smirk, making a point to look over at James Potter as he did so. He was pleased to note the Gryffindor looked suitably shocked, and he led Lily out the room.

* * *

James Potter watched, dumbfounded. "Did you see that? What a git!"

Sirius nodded. "Yep. Doing well in class. What an arse. Next he'll be handing in his homework and everything."

"That's not what I meant. You saw that snotty look he gave me."

Sirius' eyes darkened. "Yeah. I did, James." And he hadn't liked it.

James looked at him. "I hope you're not thinking of continuing your noble crusade for his soul or anything stupid like that?"

"Nah." Sirius shrugged. "You were right. He's just a slimy sod. I saw him getting all chummy with Lucius Malfoy in the Great Hall. Honestly, I'm sorry I tried to talk to him now. He waved at me on the way in. I think he thinks we're friends or something now."

James laughed. "Looks like you got a pet, Sirius!"

Sirius grimaced. Slughorn wandered over. "How's it going, boys?"

"Great, sir!" James said cheerfully, gesturing to their cauldron, hoping to receive the same praise as the last pair.

Slughorn peered over the rim, examining their concoction. "Hmm...yes, not bad..." he said, unenthusiastically, before moving on to the next pair.

James frowned. "Probably just cause he's a Slytherin," he grumbled.

"Well, _that's_ not very sportsmanlike." A voice said. James turned to look behind him. A shabby looking boy with a tired face and thin hair stood had spoken. Beside him was another, chubby boy with mousy-brown hair. Both were in Gryffindor robes.

James was about to retort, when he realised that, honestly speaking, the boy spoke the truth. He didn't have any real reason to suspect Snape's potion wasn't better than his own. "No...it's not. Sorry... I just _really _don't like that guy."

"Why not?"

"I just don't." James said, bluntly. "He gives me a bad feeling. I don't trust him. Not to mention he's a Slytherin. And you know what _they're_ like."

The boy gave him a sympathetic smile.

Realising that, as a group of Gryffindors in the same year, they'd probably see a lot of each other, James stuck out his hand. "James Potter. Nice to meet you."

"Remus Lupin. Nice to meet you too. And this is Peter. Peter Pettigrew."

* * *

"Did you see that? We were fantastic! And Potter's_ face_!"

Severus could barely contain his joy. Things were going exactly as he'd imagined. He'd had a great start to his studies. It was only the first day and he was already starting to prove himself! And Lily was by side, seeing his all his talent finally recognised. Not to mention displaying plenty of her own as well!

"_You_ were great, Sev. I just helped. You were the one who really knew what he was doing."

Though the words made his heart swell with pride, Severus paused. He couldn't let Lily remain unaware of her _own_ achievements.

"No, Lily. Wait. Stop." He looked her in the eyes. "We both did just as well as each other. You were amazing. You knew everything I was going to say before I said it, and then some. I couldn't have done it without you. You're _really_ talented. I – I'm really glad you're my partner."

"Oh, Sev!" She threw her arms around him pulled him into a bear hug. "I'm glad you're my partner too!" she exclaimed, kissing him on the cheek.

Pulling away, Severus felt himself turn slightly red as a blush crept up his skin. "Yeah...well..."

Lily smiled and took his hand. "We've still got some time before Charms. Come on, let's go exploring!"

* * *

For the next few weeks, Severus was pleased to notice the trend of his and Lily's success was to continue. They came top or nearly top in all their classes, and were fast becoming favourites of all their teachers.

The only exception on Severus' part was Flying. Though he was somewhat capable with the broom, he was far from a natural. He was _highly_ displeased to find James Potter could fly rings around him – quite literally. Everyone in the year was talking about how he was going to be star of the Gryffindor Quidditch team one day. Probably next year, soon as he was old enough to join. Annoyingly, the school seemed to talk about James Potter _a lot. _He'd even overhead a couple of third-year Slytherin girls marveling at his talents. Slytherins! He didn't understand it in the slightest. He easily outstripped Potter in nearly all his classes, but no one was admiring_ him_.

Well, no, actually. That wasn't true. Lily admired him. (And, honestly, that was worth more to Severus than all the third-year girls in the world.) But she wasn't the only one either. A few other Slytherins were beginning to notice his talents as well. These days, quite a few of them were beginning to seek out his help with schoolwork, much to his pleasure. A couple of them had even been second years!

The prefect he'd met before – Lucius Malfoy – had also shown a keen interest in Severus. He'd actually taken him under his wing, in a way. Every day, he made a point of asking Severus how his studies were going and listening to his recounts. Occasionally he even gave him extra tuition; usually in Defence Against the Dark Arts. Lucius would tell him about all kinds of mysterious spells, monsters and curses, the kind of stuff students normally wouldn't find out about until third or four year. He didn't do this to everyone, Severus noted, and he felt proud Lucius saw so much potential in him to share his discoveries with a first year.

Something that pleased him much less was Sirius' apparent avoidance of late. Severus hadn't managed to get a single conversation with the boy since they'd arrived, though definitely not through lack of trying. Every time he approached, Sirius would mysteriously disappear, or start a fervent discussion with someone else, and each time he waved or smiled at him, he'd look away and pretend he hadn't seen it. Severus couldn't, for the life of him, work out a reason for this behavior. He couldn't think of anything he might have done to offend Sirius, and swore to himself he was going to get to the bottom of the mystery at some point.

Sometimes he even got the impression James and Sirius were laughing at him, from the subtle looks and jabs they gave. But the thought hurt and he chose not to believe it.

* * *

Potions again. This time, however, Severus was not looking forward to it as much as usual. Lily was sick, which, aside from getting him down at the best of times, meant he'd be left without a partner today.

Not sure whether to try and find a replacement, or work alone, Severus took his normal desk and looked around the room uncertainly.

Mysteriously, Remus wasn't present either. Odd, considering Severus had gotten the impression he was the studious sort and wasn't one to miss lessons. Maybe he had come down with the same thing Lily had. They did share a common room, after all.

In his absence, Peter Pettigrew had been left without a partner. Not knowing what to do, he'd clung – as Severus noticed he always did – to Sirius and Potter, clearly hoping they could get away with a group of three. Slughorn wasn't having any of it.

"No, no, no! Too many wizards spoil the draught! This won't do at all. Pettigrew, Potter, work together. Black, find someone else to work with. Here, Severus is without partner too. Why don't you go join him?"

Potter sniggered. Sirius shot him a dirty look and hauled his things towards Severus' desk, making a point of dragging his feet along the way. He dropped his books down with a _bang!_ and sat at the desk, arms crossed and frowning at Slughorn.

"Hey Sirius," Severus ventured, baffled at Black's, evidently dark, mood.

"Snape."

Okay, that was it. There was no denying it anymore. Sirius was clearly not happy with him. But _why_? Sure, Severus was in a house he professed to hate, but he'd never once said anything derogatory to Black. He rattled his brain. No, not even once. To the contrary, he'd tried his very best to be friendly to the boy. Were Sirius' prejudices really that bad? And, if so, _why_ was he only showing them now? Why had he spoken to him on the train? Shaken his hand? Asked to share a boat?

The answer came to him instantly. _Potter's influence._ It was the only explanation. His eyes narrowed. So it wasn't enough that Potter hated him for no reason! He had to try and stop his friends talking to him as well!

"Are you going to tell me what I've done?" he queried.

Sirius grunted. "You haven't done anything."

"Why are acting like you can't stand the sight of me, then? Do I disgust you that much?"

Sirius shut his eyes in frustration. Wasn't it enough that they were going to work together? Did Snape have to_ interrogate_ him? "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Yes you do! You haven't spoken to me even once since we got here. Even though I've tried plenty of times to talk to you. _And_ I've seen you laughing with Potter. I know you've been mocking me behind my back! Making jokes at my expense!" It was a complete guess, but he could tell he was correct by Sirius' expression.

Sirius shrugged.

"Sirius, I _thought_ we were friends..."

At that, Sirius growled and sat upright. "Listen here,_ Snivellus_. Let's get something straight. We are_ not_ friends! I don't make friends with elitist, stuck up Slytherins, alright?"

At those words, Severus felt a deep sense of hurt. He also felt great anger at himself, for letting himself like Black. Obviously the boy was no better than Potter. He refused to let any of those emotions show on his face, however. "Alright, _Black_," he sneered. "I don't really care, it's not great loss to me. Just thought, you know, seeing as _you're_ the one who spoke to _me_ in the first place, maybe you actually wanted to talk to me. _Sorry _if I misinterpreted that."

Sirius growled. "I spoke to you because I felt sorry for you! I _pitied_ you! Didn't want you to end up in Slytherin with the other scum! That doesn't mean I like you, and it doesn't mean I want to be friends._ Certainly_ not now you've actually been sorted into that vile place! I'm _not _- friends – with – Slytherins!"

Severus raised his eyebrows. "And you call _us_ elitist, Black?" his voice barely more than a whisper.

At his words, Sirius' face fell. Before he could reply, Slughorn could be heard, calling the students to pay attention to the board as he wrote up the instructions. By the time he'd finished, the moment had passed and neither of the two boys was in the mood to add anything more to that particular discussion. They finished the rest of the lesson in silence, merely grunting at each other as necessary. When Slughorn came round to visit his protégé Severus and his new partner, he was disappointed to find their potion was merely slightly-above-average.

At the end of class, Severus grabbed his bag and strode to the door, even before most students had finished packing their things.

James wandered over and slapped Sirius on the back. "Ho – _ho, _Sirius! You sure showed him, eh? Did you see the way he stalked out of here! He looked so red I thought his head was about to pop!"

Sirius merely nodded, stiffly.

For such a great victory, he had to admit that he felt _terrible_. Something about Snape's words had resonated in his brain. "_And you call us elitist, Black?"_ Was he really _elitist?_ No, of course not. How could hating elitists be elitist? That didn't make sense, did it?

With an increasing sense of guilt, he realised that Severus hadn't really done him any wrong. At all. He was just an innocent, if somewhat slimy, kid, hoping to make friends, and Sirius might as well have slapped him in the face. He couldn't stand Slytherins, for very good reasons, but hating Severus for things _other_ Slytherins had done wasn't really any better than hating Muggles and Muggleborns, was it? You couldn't judge someone on the things they were _going_ to do.

He turned to look at the hazel-eyed boy he was growing to think of as his best friend. Sure, Sev clearly didn't get on with James, and had been much less than kind to him, but it was hard to blame him for that when, technically, James had started the feud.

He sighed. The whole thing was a mess. And, with an aching heart, he suspected it was his responsibility to fix it.


	7. Common Rooms

Severus marched all the way from the classroom to the Slytherin Common Room without stopping. It wasn't a particularly long walk, considering both were in the dungeons, and when he arrived he was no less enraged than he had been when he set off.

How _dare_ Black talk to him that way? Severus was the better wizard by far, he knew that for a fact, yet Black thought he could treat him like dirt! Called him some horrible term – Snivelly or something – and said he'd _pitied_ him! Severus would show him, alright. He wondered how _sorry for him_ Black would feel when he'd hexed him with every curse Lucius had taught him. Him _and _Potter! The two were as bad as each other. As thick as Muggles, and nearly twice as spiteful. Just wait until he gave them a piece of his mind!

He stormed though the passageway and into the Common Room. The noise caused several people to look round at his furious entry, but upon seeing his expression, no one dared say a word. Angrily, he slammed his things down on a table and threw himself into an armchair, glaring at no one in particular.

Truthfully, it wasn't the offensive comments that bothered him most. Sirius Black wasn't the first person from another house to talk down to him because he was a Slytherin. All the houses did it. No one seemed like the Slytherins much, just on principle. No, what had really upset him – really_ hurt_ him – was that he'd _liked_ Sirius. He'd truly, genuinely liked and trusted him. In a way that was reserved for precious few right now – only Lily and Lucius, really. And Lucius didn't count; he was more a mentor than a friend. But with Sirius... he'd thought he had a chance at a true friend, for once someone who _wasn't_ Lily, then had it thrown back in his face. Well screw him. He had more than a few prospective friends in Slytherin and he didn't need any stupid Gryffindor to fill the void.

"Forgive me if I'm wrong, Severus, the signs are oh-so-very _subtle_, but I get the impression something has perturbed you?" a nearby voice drawled.

Severus looked up. His look relaxed slightly, though only a little. "Lucius."

Lucius Malfoy swept himself into a chair nearby. With a lazy flick of his wand, he conjured a platter of tea and sweets on the table. "Come now Severus. Do tell Uncle Lucius what has gotten my_ favourite_ first year so wound up." He said, his expression remaining apathetic.

Severus sighed. "Sirius Black."

Lucius' eyebrow rose. "The blood traitor, Black?" He leaned forward, for the first time allowing something like interest to pass his face. "I can understand the brute frustrating anyone, I must admit, but what could he have possibly done that's had you take such a _personal_ interest?"

"Nothing. He's just a prat."

Lucius did not look like that came even close to answering his question, but he pushed the matter no further. "I do think, Severus, you would do good to remember who your friends are. Someone like _Black_, who has foolishly turned his back on true greatness, is not worth your time. No, someone of your... calibre does not need to pay heed to brutes and savages. Remember that Severus, and you may find such events trouble you less in future." And with that, he rose, and was gone as quick as he came.

* * *

Sirius burst into the dorm.

"Remus, I need your opinion on someth - Woah, you okay, man?"

Remus Lupin was a sight to behold, indeed. He lay, curled up in his bunk like a baby, his face even whiter than usual, wet with perspiration and his breath heavy. Sirius was stunned to see his friend in this state. And – _was that...?_ His sheets were soaked through!

At his voice, however, Remus straightened upright, and - with some difficulty, apparently – composed himself. "I'm fine," he said. "_Really_, Sirius," he added, seeing his friend's blatant doubt.

"You don't look fine. Do you need to go to the Hospital Wing or – "

"No!" Remus barked, with more aggression than he'd meant. He calmed himself. "I'm honestly fine Sirius. This happens sometimes...it's a recurring illness of mine. Don't worry about it. What did you want to ask me about?"

"Well..." Sirius proceeded hestitantly, reluctant to leave the topic of Remus' health behind, "It's Sna- Severus. The Slytherin kid."

Remus coughed and pushed himself to his feet. "What about him?"

"I think I'm being too hard on him. Well, maybe. I'm not sure." Sirius rubbed the back of his neck uncertainly. "James hates him, I know that much. He thinks he's not worth talking to, and I'm inclined to agree, to be honest. I've met loads of Slytherins in my life and there wasn't a single one I liked, not a single one who wasn't a grade-O arse, so why should this one any different?"

Remus nodded, "But...?"

Sirius shifted his stance. "But... I don't know. I could be wrong. _Technically_, and I mean 'technically' in the strictest sense of the word, he hasn't actually done anything _bad_ yet. He wants to be friends with me."_ Wanted_, he mentally corrected himself. "I told him to go stuff himself. Now I'm thinking that might have been a bit too cruel."

"Why are you asking me?" Remus asked, genuinely curious. He was flattered that Sirius came to him for advice, but didn't understand why he wasn't consulting James instead.

"Because James wouldn't listen. Not right now, anyway, while I'm so unsure what I think. He's honest as anything, but he's not good at seeing two sides of an argument. He'd just try to convince me I did the right thing, no matter what I said. But you Remus...you're good at seeing things impartially. I feel like I can trust you're not just going to give me the answer I want to hear."

Remus felt a shot of pride at the words. He'd been so worried he wouldn't make any friends at Hogwarts – hell, so worried he wouldn't get there in the first place – but here was a friend who trusted him! Respected his opinion and come to him for advice! He considered the matter, hoping to give a balanced answer, worthy of Sirius' trust in him.

"Well Sirius, you're aware my impression of Slytherin is just as bad as yours. Given the choice, it's certainly not where I'd choose to pick my friends from. But... you _did_ get yourself into this, and now that you have, I don't think I could ever approve condemning someone – a person who's come to you asking for honest friendship, no less – based on prejudice alone. That's really not fair, is it? How is that any better than what they do? I think you owe it to Severus to give him a second chance."

Sirius groaned. Mostly, because he knew Remus was right.

* * *

Lily wandered down into the Gryffindor Common Room, still in her dressing gown, completely unaware of the schism that had erupted between her friends.

She'd woken up that morning feeling absolutely dreadful. Clear flu symptoms. Probably not a surprise, seeing as winter was approaching and she'd been spending a lot of time swimming in the ever-colder lake. She supposed there was probably a magical cure for flu – but she hadn't had the strength to get up and find out.

Now though, she was feeling slightly better, and felt fit enough to journey down to the common room, where other first years were returning from a day full of lessons. Among them she caught Sirius and tried to draw his attention. He didn't see her smile, however, and drove straight up the stairs to the boy's dorm without even looking round. _How curious._

Following shortly behind him, James Potter sauntered into the room much more casually. As usual, he was surrounded by a group of friends. He was talking very loudly, telling them all about some Slytherin who'd been humiliated in some fashion or another and everyone was laughing at the story.

" – and then he marched out the room, gosh, he looked furious, you wouldn't believe it! Honestly, at the sight you might have thought poor little Snape had_ feelings_..."

Lily felt her blood boil. _They were talking about Sev!_

Without a moment's hesitation, she marched straight up to James Potter, who hadn't yet noticed her presence, and slapped him across the face.

James was stunned. It took him a moment to regain himself, rubbing his face where she hit him, before he responded. "What the hell was _that_, Evans?"

"Don't talk about Sev that way! He doesn't deserve it!"

He frowned. "You know, I really don't get it with you, Evans. I honestly don't. He's a smarmy git who barely talks to anyone, has no sense of humour, and just glares at everyone all the time. Remind me again _why_ you like him?"

"Because he's ten times the boy you'll ever be, James Potter," she responded coldly. There were a few '_OooOoooh!_'s from the crowd that had gathered to watch their confrontation. "At least he doesn't bully people for fun!"

"_I_ didn't do anything to him. It was all Sirius..."

"_Sirius_?" Lily responded, confused.

"Yeah?" Sirius replied, appearing at the bottom of the stairs again. "You called?"

Lily rounded on him. "_What did you do to Sev_?"

His gaze dropped. "Oh. That."

"Yes_, that_. What did you do?"

Seeing his reluctance to answer, James jumped in for him. "Just told him the truth, didn't you Sirius? Told him what a little snake he was and that he shouldn't come slithering round us Gryffindors again."

"You _what_?" Lily couldn't believe what he was hearing. Potter she expected this of...but not Sirius. She_ liked _Sirius.

"No! I mean...Yes, that's what happened. But I was wrong!"

"What?" It was James' turn now. "But you said – "

"I _know_ what I said James. But I was wrong. I shouldn't have said what I did to Severus. I'm going to go apologise."

The look of dumbfounded confusion on James' face would have been comical, had the atmosphere in the Common Room not been so tense. The majority of people in the room had no idea what was going on, they didn't know who 'Severus' was, or why he was so important, but they all watched with fascination anyway.

"Bloody hell, mate, you've finally cracked."

"No, James." Sirius shook his head. "I think I've finally seen sense. I'm going to go apologise and put everything right," he said, determined, his eyes challenging James to disagree.

James merely shrugged. "Your funeral."

Lily felt dizzy. She'd only wanted to come down for a cup of tea beside the fire! She was far too ill for all this upset. Clutching her dressing gown tighter, she glared at Sirius. "Make sure you do apologise, Black. Sev is my best friend and I'm certainly _not _going to tolerate anyone treating him badly." With that, she turned on her heel and marched straight back up to the girls' dorm, exhausted already.

* * *

Sirius stuffed another slice of toast in his mouth.

He sat with James, Remus and Peter, all four enthusiastically tucking into breakfast in the Great Hall. Lily wasn't present. _Still sick_, he supposed. It was just as well, really. She was still angry with him. He supposed that was reasonable, he still hadn't apologised to Severus.

To be fair though, it wasn't his fault. He had _tried_, but Severus hadn't been in the Great Hall last night, nor this morning. He'd even gone all the way to the Slytherin dungeon to ask for him, but he'd just received a very frosty reception and been told, in no uncertain terms, to go and stick himself. Out of ideas, he wasn't sure what else he could do for now.

_Enjoy some bloody smashing food, that's what. _

Sirius was just getting started on his fourth pancake, when he was interrupted by an exceptionally rude owl dropping a letter _right_ on top of his butter. Frowning, and with crumbs still falling from his mouth, he wiped his hands on the tablecloth and picked the letter up to examine it. A frown creased his brow as he recognized the handwriting, but his expression was soon replaced with a grin. He nudged the boy beside him.

"Oi! James, get a load of this. It's from my parents. First letter they've sent me since I was put in Gryffindor! They must be _raging_. I bet it's full of curses." His eyes lit up with glee. "Maybe it's a_ Howler_!" he looked positively delighted at the prospect.

Eagerly he ripped the envelope open. To his disappointment, nothing erupted out at him. No curses, no booming voice, not even a poxy Bat-Bogey hex. Merlin, his parents could be _boring _when they wanted to.

With one hand, he shook out the letter and read. James leaned in over his shoulder.

Suddenly, Sirius felt himself going rather pale.

"_What_? No, this can't be right..." He flipped over the letter, hoping to see some kind of explanation on the other side. There was none.

James squinted for a better look.

Remus peered across the table, desperate for a read, but too polite to ask for someone else's mail. Peter had no such qualms, however. "Give it here, Sirius! Blimey, you look like you've seen a ghost...well, _figuratively_ of course. What did they say? Threatening to send you to the Malfoys' over summer?"

Sirius weakly handed over the letter. He looked at James with a nervous expression. James looked perplexed.

_"Dear our beloved Sirius,_

_We were most pleased to find you've been sorted into Gryffindor House. A break from tradition, of course, but we have no doubt you will do well there. Hope your studies are going well and you are still planning to return home for the Christmas Holidays. Regulus misses you terribly._

_Much love,  
Your Mother and Father."_

Peter shrugged, tossing the letter back across the table. "It's a bit short I guess, but they seem happy for you. Don't see why you're so shaken up about it. I thought you said your parents were horrible, Sirius?"

Sirius shook his head. "No...Peter...you don't understand. They _are_. This - " he looked again at James, as if hoping he could provide him with answers, then again at the letter. "This isn't right. They should be furious... threatening to disown me... If you'd heard the way they talk, you'd know...There's something very wrong here." He gulped. For once his cocky attitude had vanished and he felt like a small child again.

James had heard Sirius talk about his parents far more than anyone else at the table, and thought he understood the worries running through his head right then. In truth, the letter bothered him as well. Something didn't add up. He had no idea what to do about it, however, and saw no other course but to reassure his friend. "Don't worry, mate, I'm sure it's nothing. They're just trying to make sure you come home again for the holidays, that's all. Don't want to scare you off."

Sirius slowly nodded, not reassured at all.

* * *

It was the next morning before he got his chance to talk to Severus. Again, the Slytherin boy was nowhere to be seen at breakfast, but Lily, returning from her absence, had suggested he sometimes went down to the lake early in the morning. Thanking her for the information, Sirius took off at a brisk pace.

Once outside, Severus was easy to spot. Not many people bothered with the lake this early. Sirius wondered in passing if that was why Severus liked it so much.

He took great care to approach him quietly. He had a strong suspicion Severus would leave immediately if he saw who was coming to talk to him. Succeeding to reach the boy unnoticed, he dropped down on the ground beside the Slytherin.

Severus turned at the sound. He smiled because he thought Lily had come to meet him, like she sometimes did, but at the sight of Sirius Black his expression turned first to shock, anger, then finally a sneer. "Piss off, Black."

Sirius didn't move. He sat, gaze downward, pulling at the grass. He was trying to figure out what the right words were to say that wouldn't make everything worse.

"What are you, deaf as well as stupid? I said piss – "

"I'm sorry, Severus."

Severus, paused, surprised for a moment, before he scoffed. "Oh, _sorry_ are you? Yes, I'm sure you are. Well, suppose that's alright then. We'll just be friends again then, won't we? Oh – wait – you don't _make friends_ with Slytherins, do you?"

"No, really, I _am_ sorry. I was a complete and utter arse to you in Potions. I was angry at my family – listened too much to James – and I tried to take it out on you. There's no excuse for that. So I'm genuinely sorry."

Severus was silent for a while, his gaze fixed on the ground, but contorted into a frown. "Is that it?"

Sirius looked up. He tried to read Severus' face, but he found the expression impossible to decipher. "Yeah...I guess so." Severus looked distinctly unsatisfied with his apology. He searched his brain, trying to think of some other crime he had committed.

"So what about the weeks before that, where you completely ignored me? What about the jokes you make with Potter at my expense? What about the day we met, when you_ lied to my face _and pretended you actually wanted to make friends with me. When, in reality, I was just some self-serving social experiment of yours? Do I get an apology for _that_, Sirius?"

"I – I..." Sirius blanked, lost for words.

"I don't _give a damn_ about what you said to me in Potions. I have tough skin, and_ believe_ me, I've heard far worse. What disgusts me – is that you treated me like an equal! You treated me like an equal in a way that no one else outside Slytherin ever seems to do, then promptly took it straight back as soon as you found out I wasn't going to bend to your will, like some dog of yours." His eyes met Sirius' in a fierce glare. "You Gryffindors are so bloody arrogant! Everyone's beneath you, aren't they? You think you have _all_ the answers. Oh look at the _kind, noble _ Sirius Black, ready stoop down to the level of the _foolish little boy_ who wanted to be in Slytherin and share all his great wisdom! Isn't he so _self-sacrificing_? Going out to save the souls of all those misguided little kids. My, don't the mothers _love_ him on his _shining, white horse_!" He clasped his hands together and swayed mockingly.

"It...No! It wasn't like that!"

"Oh really?" Severus spat, hands falling back down to his side. "What was the phrase you used? You _'pitied'_ me, I think it was. Well, hell with that Black. I don't need your _pity._ I wanted to be in Slytherin. I didn't need your 'saving' then and I sure as hell don't need it now. We both know you've already decided I'm a lost cause. So I'd appreciate if you didn't come to me with these half-arsed apologies just so you can feel better about failing with your little _project_."

His anger voiced, Severus rose and marched back towards the castle, leaving Sirius alone, with a gobsmacked expression upon his face.

* * *

"Did you do it?" Lily asked in a hurried whisper as Sirius entered the Charms classroom.

Still somewhat shaken, Sirius nodded.

Lily beamed. "Great. I'm so glad. That's was really decent of you. _Thank you_, Sirius."

"I wouldn't go thanking me just yet, Lily. It didn't go well."

"What? Why not? What did he - " She was cut off by the Professor's call for silence in the classroom. Frustrated that she wouldn't get answers straight away, Lily frowned at the interruption.

Sirius, however, was relieved. It gave him some more time to think about exactly what he was going to say. What _was_ he going to say? That her best friend now despised him? Probably always would? Sirius couldn't fathom how quickly it had all gone wrong. Only a couple of days ago Severus had been waving enthusiastically at him at every opportunity, now he wouldn't even speak to him. With a pang of guilt – Sirius realised he wouldn't be in this situation if he had only returned those waves.

The end of the lesson came round, and Lily was on him before he'd had a chance even to pick up any of his things.

"So what happened?"

Sirius shrugged. "He didn't accept my apology. Just made him angrier, I think. Long story. The things he said kinda made me realise I'd been an even bigger git than I thought, truth be told. He said he didn't want to ever speak to me again. Or, at least, that's definitely the message I got."

Lily's face fell. "Oh he _didn't_! Oh no...Sev..." she groaned.

Eventually, an idea came to her and she forced a smile. "Don't worry about this Sirius_, I'll_ talk to him."

Sirius was skeptical. "Look Lily, I know you're his friend and all, but I really don't see you making any difference, not with this... I think I hurt him pretty bad. I really can't imagine him changing his mind about me any now. He's _really_ pissed off too..I certainly wouldn't want to see him take it out on you."

She laughed, as if the thought of Severus taking any anger out on_ her_ was a funny joke. "Don't worry Sirius. I know _just_ how Sev works. You wait and see!" she winked.

* * *

**AN: MademoiselleDOG - thank you so much for your comments! :) Sirius and Severus are two of my favourite characters too. (And never fear, I have plenty of plans for the two of them yet ;) ) I'm so glad you're enjoying it so far, and I hope you like what to come as well! (Though I don't want to give away any surprises!)**


	8. Hurt

**AN: In response to a couple of reviews**:

**BlueJeanMistress – Thanks for your comments! Reading back through the story, I can certainly see what you're getting at. The reason the chapters have been published this way so far is simply because that's how I write them – I tend to do short 1-2K bursts, then (in my enthusiasm) publish them right away. But I realise this is possibly not the best from a reader's point of view. Partly because of your comments, and partly because I was planning to round it off pretty soon anyway – this part is a little longer than usual, and constitutes the final chapter that will be set in first year. The next part will continue at some point in second/third year and I may revise my publication method too, we'll see how it goes. **

**Professor Radar - A fair point! But bear in mind Lily wasn't actually there when Sirius went off on Severus. She doesn't know what was said. I think if she did, she'd be a lot less forgiving, as you say. But, as far as she's aware, he just got a bit angry and said something he didn't mean. Perhaps I should have made it clearer in the story, but at this point she does genuinely like Sirius. He's been very friendly to her and (because Sev didn't want to appear pathetic and never pointed it out) she's actually rather unaware of how badly he's been treated overall. Remember, from her perspective, Sirius completely refused to boast about what happened, and offered an apology nearly immediately. She also knows Sev can take things a bit too personally at times. She assumes, therefore, that it was a fairly trivial fall-out that needs to be swiftly fixed (rather than analysed) and that James was the only one being genuinely cruel about it. **

* * *

_"I told you not to do it anymore! Didn't I? Didn't I?"_

_"Daddy...no, please! Stop!"_

_"I told you!"_

_"I didn't mean it, Daddy! I never mean it! They just happen..."_

_"DON'T LIE TO ME!"_

_A scream._

_A dream? _

_Maybe._

_Sometimes it's hard to tell the difference, these days._

_Every night, he remembers._

* * *

_A young boy and girl sit, crossed legged on the grass._

_"How are things at your house?"_

_A crease in the brow. "Fine."_

_"They're not arguing anymore?"_

_"Oh yes, they're arguing."_

_There's more to it than that._

_He looks to her. _

_He could tell her everything right now. She would listen. She would care. She would comfort. _

_She would be horrified._

_She'd probably cry._

_She would _care_, but she wouldn't _understand_._

_The leaves he was holding are now in shreds._

_It would hurt her._

_She can't know._

_"But it won't be that long and I'll be gone."_

_The topic changes. _

_The moment is gone. _

* * *

"Okay."

Lily blinked. "What?" she blurted out, unable to stop herself. _What?_ Sure, she'd thought she could talk Sev round, but hadn't expected him to give in_ nearly_ this easily.

He was usually so stubborn! Heck, she'd even prepared a speech and everything.

_Still_, _let's not question a good thing..._

"Really?" A wide smile formed on her face.

* * *

"Okay."

Lily wasn't the only one who blinked. Severus listened in surprised to his own response. He'd opened his mouth to give some cutting remark, saying he'd never be friends with that prat, and instead found himself agreeing to everything she said_! What the hell?_ What happened?

Sure... a part of him certainly still mourned that lost friendship with Sirius Black, a part of him _wanted _to agree... but he wasn't one to forgive and forget so easily.

_Her eyes are really pretty._

What? _That was a weird thought. _He hardened his resolve and opened his mouth to correct his mistake. No, he wouldn't be accepting any apologies from Black any times soon!

"Really?"

He faltered again. _Merlin, she has a nice smile_. "Yeah, really." _No, no, no!_ What was he saying?

Cursing inwardly, he gazed at her ecstatic expression and knew it was too late. She looked so sickeningly happy, and it was all because of something_ he'd_ said. He couldn't bear to spoil her joy now.

_Goddamit._ "Alright, Lily, I'll forgive him, for you. But that doesn't mean we'll be friends, okay? I just don't want to put all my energy into holding some grudge forever. I still don't want to talk to the prat more than I have to."

"That's fine," Lily smiled again, somewhat relieved to hear Sev saying things so _Sev-like_ again. She'd almost started to suspect an imposter. "Thanks Sev."

* * *

"Black."

Sirius turned at the disturbance. He was surprised to find Severus had approached_ him_. He hadn't done that since...well, a while.

"Look... I'm still angry with you. And don't think I'm not. But I've been talking to Lily and she seems to believe you're genuinely sorry for what happened. She thinks I'm overreacting. I'll be blunt – I'm very sceptical of that, but, for now, I've decided to take her word for it."

Sirius' eyes widened. "A – Are you saying you forgive me?"

_No._ Sev shrugged. "If you want to call it that. But don't mistake me here, this doesn't mean we're friends. We're not now and we never will be. Don't bother to look at me like that, because those are your words, not mine, Sirius. But, for now, I'm willing to be civil. Civil for Lily, if nothing else. She's your friend now as well as mine, and I don't think it does her any good if we can't stand the company of one another."

Sirius stared.

"Are we agreed?" Severus asked impatiently. He wanted to get this over with.

Slowly, Sirius nodded.

* * *

Back in the Common Room, Severus sat back and thought_, again_, about Sirius Black.

He knew Lucius was right. He spent far too much time thinking about Sirius. In an ideal world, he'd have stopped bothering with Black the second he started coming out with all those anti-Slytherin prejudices on the train. Everyone else in his house had said it wasn't worth making friends in Gryffindor, that they would always look down their nose at a Slytherin, but Severus hadn't listened. He'd been too naive on the Hogwarts Express, too trusting, and then once he'd arrived he convinced himself Sirius must be different. Look how _that_ turned out.

_But why do I still crave his friendship so much?_ It didn't make any sense. Truth be told, he had barely had one pleasant conversation with the boy. It should have been easy to cut off any connection as soon as he started receiving cold treatment, _never mind_ the taunting and the outburst that came later. But instead of retaining his dignity and remaining distant, he'd chased Sirius, desperate for his attention. He smiled, waved at and approached the boy for weeks, despite the lack of reciprocation, and to well beyond the point it became embarrassing. _I told him he treated me like a dog, but can I really argue, when I followed him around just like one?_

Severus was a logical thinker, so he analysed the problem.

_He treated me well._ That was an obvious one. It was true that few others outside Slytherin did. That was something that set Sirius apart from the rest of them. At first, at least. _Turns out that was a lie, and an incredibly short-lived one at that, but we have to start somewhere. What else?_

_He did it in spite of Potter. _Another point. Potter clearly hadn't been happy to see Sirius act the way he did towards Severus. He wasn't sure if that really counted as a plus point towards Sirius himself, but talking with Sirius made Potter angry and Severus enjoyed making Potter angry. So that, _technically_ speaking, was another reason he'd wanted to be friends with Sirius.

_He's good at magic._ When he wasn't playing the fool or skipping class with Potter, Sirius _was _actually talented. As much as Severus loathed admitting it, he suspected Sirius had the potential to rival him in skill one day. _If he'd only focus on his studies more. _And, regardless of house, family or loyalties, Severus did respect talent.

_He's friends with Lily._ Ah, a big one. Severus badly wanted to be in Lily's friend group. As great as Slytherin was, he hated being in a different house from his best friend. He'd thought Sirius was his way in. A way to integrate himself with the Gryffindors, so that he and Lily spent as little time apart as possible. In truth, he knew this was one of the main reasons that a part of him still wanted to forgive Sirius. If Sirius and Lily were going to keep being friends, Severus wanted to be present for that.

What else, what else? He didn't have much more to go on. _I really _haven't _spoken to him much. More fool me and my naivety._..

There was something else though...

_Well, it was nothing much really_. But on the Hogwarts Express, back when Sirius had first mocked Slytherin, and first condemned his entire family, Severus' first thought hadn't been anything to do with school houses. No, in actual fact, Severus didn't really consider whether it would impact his choice regarding Slytherin until Potter asked him about it later, on the boat.

What had interested him more_, far more_... was that Sirius was the first person he had ever met, besides himself, that didn't like his family.

Severus hadn't explicitly realised this until now, but it was true. Lily, for one, _adored _her family. Somehow, inexplicably, that even included her sister, who was stupid and cruel. Lily would happily listen to anything Severus had to share, but she would never, _ever _understand what it was like to hate your own parents. And for them in turn, to wish you had never been born.

He hadn't been close to many other children, but the ones he'd known had always been spoiled and rotten. Every single one of them knitted out in the finest clothes, with the coolest toys and the biggest houses. And every single one of them prepared to take their aggression out on Severus. Because he had nothing. Nothing to share and no protective parents to come to his defence.

No, his parents never came to his defence... not even from _themselves_.

He'd begun to suspect he was the only one. Some freak occurrence, who was never meant to be and he alone was doomed to a life of rejection.

But when Sirius had made that simple statement, though it had been said in such a light-hearted manner, it changed everything for Severus. It was the first sign that maybe, just maybe, someone else understood what he had been through. Someone else knew the things he'd never dare tell. Someone else _understood._

_A foolish hope._ Severus now understood that this was not the case. He had learned from Lucius that the Blacks were an exceptionally loving and caring family. Narcissa and Bellatrix Black (the first of whom he had met personally) spoke very highly of their family and told him all about Sirius' attention-seeking lies. Severus had heard this fact confirmed himself, when word had recently got round that Sirius had received a very warm, proud letter from his parents, despite his previous, outrageous claims they would disown him.

Somehow, that was even worse than if Sirius had just had a normal childhood. It offended Severus deeply that Sirius could have the nerve to _pretend_ to understand what bad parents_ really_ were like, when he'd been raised in luxury all his life. Just for the sake of making a few friends feel sorry for him!

_Well, the toerag can say what he wants now. I'm finally going to start listening to Lucius on this, like I should have done from the start. He's not worth bothering myself over. I'll tolerate him for now, but I'll not trust him again._

And so it was that Severus and Sirius' relationship slowly normalised to a lukewarm mundanity. They neither greeted each other as fiends nor outright ignored each other. They each merely quietly tolerated the other's existence.

Sometimes, when Lily asked, the three of them would even study in the library together. Those days were difficult, long and uneventful for all the concerned parties. She'd hoped spending time together might help repair the damage and bring them together, but, because she did not truly understand the nature of their falling out, she only despaired at her consistent failure to succeed.

In truth, Sirius shared her feeling of despair. He too, wanted to fix his mistake and regain Severus' trust. The guilt was gnawing away at him. However, he couldn't help but feel that the forgiveness he had gained so far was exceptionally tentative and delicate, and he dared not endanger it by further pushing the Slytherin.

When he talked to his friend about this, Remus was sympathetic, telling Sirius it was only a matter of time until Severus came around, James remained critical of the whole situation, refusing to encourage the notion that Sirius should have even apologised in the first place, and Peter...well, Peter sided with Sirius and Remus solely because they were two and James was one.

And so the final few weeks of term passed in this fashion. Eventually, December came, snow began to cover the grounds of Hogwarts and everyone in the school was talking about their holiday plans...

* * *

**January**

Severus had gone home for Christmas.

He hadn't wanted to. No, that was an understatement, he _desperately_ hadn't wanted to. But he had. Because Lily had gone home.

Still, he'd almost regretted it even then. Things in Spinner's End were even worse than he suspected. He hadn't bothered to write home, and his parents hadn't written to him, so he was completely unaware that there had been developments since he'd left.

For one thing, Eileen was even worse. If he'd thought she'd been borderline catatonic before he left, now she actually _was_. She didn't talk, didn't get up, didn't even acknowledge it when people (i.e. Severus – because no one else bothered) spoke to her or called her name. Severus supposed she must eat _sometimes_, but he didn't spend enough time in the house to find out. _She's a witch, maybe she has some magical way of sustaining herself. _Severus found himself struggling to care.

There was another development too. Tobias had a _girlfriend_. Well, no, that was making it sound far more legitimate than it was. He had some woman that he brought home. A lot. Severus hated her, almost as much as he hated Tobias himself. She was horrible. She drank, smoked and swore almost as much as his father, and actively encouraged Tobias to 'beat some of the sliminess out his son' – even on days where Tobias had seemed willing to leave him alone.

If Eileen cared that her husband was bringing home some strange woman every night, she didn't show it. Of course, it would have been low, even of her, to protest _that_, when she showed so little interest in the treatment of her only son.

He'd almost regretted coming home. Almost.

The Evans had invited him over for the New Year. It had been heavenly. Lily had given him a box of interesting-looking Muggle chocolates, a green-and-silver-striped scarf and a book of exotic potions from around the world. He gave her a necklace, encrusted with an imitation emerald and hung from a silver chain. In truth, he'd stolen it from his mother's room. But, in his own defence... he hadn't been able to afford anything on his own and he hardly thought Eileen was in a suitable state to care.

Lily hadn't minded the poor quality of the gift. She'd thrown her arms around Severus and kissed him on a cheek in thanks. Severus still couldn't explain the funny warm feeling he got whenever she did that.

It had almost felt like, at that one moment, none of the rest of it mattered.

* * *

"How was your Christmas, Remus?"

"Not bad, not bad. Got a lot of new books, some of them look really fascinating. I can't wait to get stuck in."

"_Books_? Blimey, you never fail to baffle me. Don't we have enough of those for school, surely? You finished all the ones in the library already?"

"You can never have enough books, James. Why, what did you get?"

"A new broomstick, of course."

"A broomstick! What's the point of that? You're not even allowed one at school yet!"

"Ah, but that's the beauty of it, my dear Peter. Where's the fun in bringing something when you're _allowed _to bring it?"

"You mean you – "

_"Shh!"_

"But you _did_?"

"I don't know_ what_ you're talking about. But did you hear Slughorn's briefcase ended up on the roof of the Astronomy Tower?"

"Bloody _hell_, James."

"Hey, Remus, shouldn't you be chasing down that one, mythical book you've still to read?"

"_James..."_

"Hey, hey! You can't condemn me, you don't have any evidence! Innocent until proven guilty! Isn't that right Sirius? Hey... Sirius? Sirius!"

"SIRIUS!"

Sirius started. "Oh...Sorry!" He blinked and looked round. All of his friends were staring at him. So were a few others seated nearby. "I...I was just in a bit of a daze. W-What were we talking about?"

James was concerned. "You alright mate? You've been a bit quiet."

"Yeah, no, I'm fine. Just tired, that's all."

"Alright...How was _your _holiday anyway, Sirius? You haven't told us yet. What was up with that letter from your parents? Were they really that happy for you? Or was it just weird joke of theirs?"

Sirius paused, contemplating his time at home. "I...uhm...I guess it was alright, really... I think the letter was genuine, they're happy for me. _Sure_, they were kinda disappointed about the whole Gryffindor thing, but overall pretty good about it. Better than I thought they would be, actually. Maybe I just made too big a deal out of it."

"Huh. Weird that. Parents make no sense, eh?"

"Heh. Yeah, no sense. But anyway, what about you guys? What were your holidays like? Really sorry I wasn't paying attention before, tell me again?"

* * *

"Sirius was weird this morning."

Severus raised an eyebrow.

He and Lily were again sitting by the lake, as had become habit for them after breakfast. Both were tightly wrapped up – Severus wearing the scarf Lily had bought him – for the snow and frost had permanently settled down in the Hogwarts grounds for the winter.

"I wasn't sitting with him, but I was nearby. I heard Potter and his friends talking about their holidays, you know, like everyone else is, and he was just really quiet. Didn't say a thing until they asked him. Then he said that his holidays were fine and his parents weren't as bad as he was expecting them to be. But he was really, just..._odd_, the way he said it. Then he changed the subject immediately."

"Do tell me, Lily, why you think I care if _Sirius Black_ is behaving oddly?"

Lily frowned and stuck her tongue out. "Stop being an arse, Sev. I know you guys aren't exactly besties at the moment, but I got really a weird feeling about this. Something's off."

Severus sighed. "Yes, Lily. Something _is _off. The reason Sirius is so uncomfortable right now is because he is a _liar_. He told everyone his parents treated him badly, and now everyone can see that they, in fact, don't. He's been exposed as the attention-seeking little brat he is and he doesn't know how to deal with it."

"Sev!"

"What? It's true."

"How could you_ possibly _know that?"

"I just do. Lucius told me."

"Lucius _Malfoy_? You can't trust him as far as you can throw him!"

"And who told you that? Black, I presume?"

"I – I ..."

"_I thought so_. I appreciate you just want to trust in your friend, Lily, but I did too and it's a mistake when it comes to Sirius Black. He's not who you think he is." He turned to look her in the eyes, pleading with her to believe him. He didn't want to see her hurt, like he had been. "I'm right about this Lily. I _know _it. Just you wait and see."

* * *

School resumed a few days later, and one of the first classes scheduled in the New Year was Potions.

Taking his usual desk, Severus looked around the classroom.

He was surprised to notice Remus was missing yet again. He guessed it wasn't_ that_ strange, the boy looked ill round the clock. But still, it was becoming a rather periodic occurrence.

Out the corner of his eye, he caught a shape enter the room, hesitate for a few second, then leave again. _Lost students._ That happened sometimes, but it still annoyed him, as any stupidity did. _We've only been here four months, you'd think they could have worked out how to use a timetable by now._

Sirius was also missing. Surprisingly, Potter was still here, which meant Black was bunking off on his own. _Not that I care._ Severus reminded himself that he wasn't paying any more attention to Black's antics than he had to this term.

The lesson began and he and Lily, naturally, worked like clockwork, the way they always did. Within the first half of the class, they had finished the preparation state and simply had to leave their potion to finish brewing on its own. Well ahead of anyone else, they had finished.

"Oh, my, my! Do I see another few points to Gryffindor and Slytherin? Yes I do! Excellent work!" Slughorn eagerly praised two of his favourite students. "Now, seeing as you've finished so early, I hope you wouldn't mind if I ask a couple of errands of you? I hope not. Lily, if you could go out to the gardens and fetch me some essence of Mandrake – the Herbology Professor, Sprout I think her name is – will be able to show you if you need help. I had a supply, but my briefcase appears to have gone missing... Severus, could you go to Professor McGonagall and drop off these potions I've prepared for one of her fourth year lessons. There'll be another five points in it for both of you when you return. Thank you!"

Severus make his was to McGonagall's office without complaint. Though mundane, this was a task he really didn't mind doing. Severus respected Professor McGonagall, and she treated him a lot better than he would have expected from the head of Gryffindor house. After dropping off the goods and receiving her thanks, he began his trek back down to the dungeons.

He still had plenty of time, so he decided to make it interesting. He took a long-winded route, through several rarely-visited corridors and staircases. The journey was absolutely full of mysterious passageways, halls and locked doors he'd never seen before. _You could live here all your life and still not know where everything is._

Descending another flight of stairs, he felt the temperature drop, and could tell he was getting near the dungeons again.

Suddenly, he heard a noise. The sound of someone knocking over something, he thought.

Looking round, he was surprised. This corridor looked completely abandoned. There were no class rooms, nothing of use...what brought someone _here_?

The noise was coming from a nearby broom cupboard.

Slowly, he approached the door and opened it.

A mess of black hair was sat on the ground in front of him, facing away from the door.

"_Black?"_

The boy jumped at his name.

"What the _hell _are you doing here?" Severus yelled, incredulously. His eyes narrowed. "Skipping classes in a _broom cupboard_? Does education mean so little to you? Or is this part of yet another prank of yours? Surprised you haven't let Potter in on it. Or maybe you _have_?"

The lack of response angered him. He wasn't a prefect, but he spoke with the authority of one when he next commanded, "_Answer me_!"

A stifled, scared voice replied. "I – I'm sorry...I...I came to Potions...I _did._ But th – then Remus wasn't there...I thought James and Peter...they wouldn't notice if I went off for a bit ... I f – found this place...I didn't think anyone would come..."

Severus rolled his eyes. "Black – what on earth has gotten into you – "

"Please, just _leave me alone!"_

Severus stood his ground. "I'm not going to leave, you're _skipping class_, you –"

For the first time, Sirius turned to face him.

Severus stepped back in shock.

Sirius' face was covered in tears. His face was reddened from what must have been a long time crying and even his hair – normally sleek and soft – was drenched from the stuff.

And he looked at Severus with an _expression._

An expression he'd seen hundreds of times before.

Hundreds of times, in his own mirror.

And in that moment, Severus knew.

Sirius spoke again, this time with more confidence than he had before. "Look, Severus. I know you hate me. I know you want to come have a gawk – but not now. Please, _not now_. You can come back later and laugh at me all you want, but I really just need to be alone right now. _Please,_ I'm literally begging you, _leave_ _me alone."_

Ignoring him, Severus stepped forward.

It was all falling into place.

Everything.

The avoidance. Changing the subject.

It was what _he_ did.

The _letter._ Of course.

No evidence.

He'd been wrong.

_Go_d, he'd been _so wrong._

Slowly, he reached his hand towards his sleeve, and pulled it up over his elbow.

He showed Sirius the one thing he'd vowed he'd never let anyone see. Not even Lily.

_Especially _not Lily.

He had only just returned from his father's. The bruises were still fresh.

He showed Sirius.

It was a question.

Sirius stared at his arm for a few seconds in shock. Slowly – very slowly, he lifted his gaze towards Severus' eyes.

He nodded.

Severus felt tears forming in his eyes. He'd never allowed himself to cry in front of anyone but his parents, but now he let them run freely. He wept. He wept because he was wrong and he wept because he was right. He wept for himself, he wept for injustice, and most of all he wept for the scared, lonely boy in front of him.

He fell to his knees. Without thinking, he reached out and pulled Sirius Black into a hug. There was nothing else to do. It was only hug he'd initiated in his life.

He felt one of them begin to sob. Maybe it was Sirius. Maybe it was him. Maybe it was both of them.

And the two boys that the world abandoned cried into each others arms until they had no more tears to give.

* * *

**AN: I said a while ago that I had coursework to do and wouldn't post for a bit...then proceeded to completely ignore that and keep writing anyway. Well, this time I'm a bit more determined about it, so it'll probably be around a week until the next update. (If I post before then, slap me and tell me to go back to work.)**

**Thanks again for reading!**

**EDIT: In answer to the review asking; no, this won't be a slash fiction. I admit that I've begun to enjoy the relationship between the two, but if you're looking for that kinda direction, I'm sorry, it's not going to happen. Like I said, I want to write a somewhat believable AU story, and I feel like that would be embellishing a_ little_ too much. Any perceived tenderness is because they are both very vulnerable and scared children who'd both thought they were alone, until now. Feel free to read all the underlying subtexts you want into that, if that's a pairing you enjoy, but the story isn't going to go that way.**

**In answer to another review, the letter was indeed a trick of sorts. The Blacks sent it for a few different reasons. First, they had to make sure Sirius was still going to return for Christmas, James was right about that much, at least. Secondly, their true anger was far too deep to convey in any letter, and they felt their dignity was above penning down abusive responses like that and thirdly (probably the most important reason) there couldn't be any evidence of what was going to happen. They successfully scared Sirius badly enough that he would hold his tongue, but if he did speak out, to the Ministry or anywhere else, there could be absolutely nothing to support the idea they ever treated their children badly. With no physical evidence of their abuse (they make sure to leave none) it becomes simply Sirius' word against theirs. And they have enough supporters and connections to win that fight.**


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